I REMEMBER 11 years ago when I hated someone, I thought I could not forgive. And I know she feels the same. I think everybody knows we hated each other; I would honestly say that I have heard how she felt bad about me.
But since we are working in the same institution, I guess we realized that we must set aside past conflicts. But yes, it was hard to trust; I can sense that we always maintained that boundary, and we can never have that friendship relationship.
Months ago, some would ask me, are you starting to like each other? I will always respond with a poker face because it is already programmed in my mind that we can be the best coworkers after all the silent fights, but we can never be "true friends."
Due to work responsibilities, we will need to stay in one office. Together, from eight in the morning to five in the afternoon, we need to coordinate. Sad, but our tables are in front of each other, so we see our faces every day. Hence, I pray that my awkwardness toward my coworker will subside.
Honestly, as the days and months passed, I felt we were learning to like each other; it was nice that I could hear her complimenting me on our completed tasks, and I also did the same. Slowly, I saw her goodness, which I overlooked because I was preoccupied with unfortunate encounters with her.
I could not imagine her worrying about me when I was sick. Check if I am safe and make sure that due medications are taken. And most of all, accompanying me to walk going to other offices, which I find it is so tiring and worrisome. But with her presence, I felt that I have all the energy to even dance and sing all night long.
God, we never have agreed or expected to like each other nor stop the silent war between us. But it was the time that healed all our wounds and the realization that there are no reasons for us to argue. And that it was only the circumstances that blinded our hearts to hate each other. Suppose we have only communicated by heart and not listened to that voice that divided us. In that case, we could have started to learn that we can work together without prejudice and be prayer partners.
We might have different work ethics and values, but I envy her for giving importance to self-care; I wish I could be like her to balance work and self-care needs. I envy her for being straightforward; I wish I could be as open as her. I envy her for thinking there is still tomorrow and not being a worrier. While she wishes me to come to work not at six in the morning when I can get up at seven. Or to drink water instead of a soda. We might have many differences, but this must support a common goal.
So now, I have realized that even after 11 years of pain, we can learn to forgive, which comes naturally. What is important is to accept that we committed wrong and open our hearts to a new beginning. Sometimes, two people with different worlds can unite and find peace in their hearts. Sometimes, two people can cry together and feel each other without explaining what the feeling is. And sometimes, people will only know another person's worth if they look into their eyes, listen to their hearts, and feel their soul. Ah...I see you vividly, Ms. Magnolia May “Bang” A. Jadulang. Thank you very much to you, who before was my worst enemy. You are indeed not just a coworker but now, my friend truly!