Love and Gaslight: The Feminine Energy Misconstrued

I used to hate pink or I pretended to do so....

Growing up, there is an unspoken shame with admitting that I am feminine. So, I continuously convince myself that “I am not like the other girls” when I am like every other girl trying hard to get rid of parts of me that are not considered desirable. I was conditioned to bear the burden of being watched—to brilliantly perform in this very space that makes me feel small.

Young as we are, the male gaze creeps through us and sometimes it never leaves.

What is the misogyny of imposing the feminine energy?

Today, though, is a totally different circumstance, femininity is widely accepted. My former restless performance of the self turned into a big sigh of relief.

Just when I thought that the rise of feminine energy portrayal is helpful it was along harmful ideals wrapped in linens and ribbons. In the attempt of owning our narrative, we are reduced into these caricatures labeled by the alt-right (Women can’t have nice things without the cost of another).

They impose that feminine energy makes women subservient and pure. Radiant Wife, an alt-right YouTube channel even said “We help them get in touch with their natural selves.” Apparently, qualities that are complementary to the masculine energy (What is even the basis of assessing the femininity or masculinity of an inclination?).

If we posit that femininity is an ethereal quality it should not crumble in the presence of gender roles and could exist as a stand alone. Quoting the book The Second Sex “Neither the man nor the woman should be like a broken fragment of a couple; one’s sex is not a wound; each one is a complete being, perfectly polarized.”

The alt-right notion denounces all forms of sexual liberation and independence. While we hate slut-shaming and sexism in hindsight, I understand the appeal when it is rebranded as spiritual buzzwords. I even find myself subscribing to the so-called “alpha male mantra” when in reality, I never want to look men in the eyes so that they can affirm my femininity.

“I am Feminine, therefore a Feminist”

The language of spirituality is understandably empowering but not when it is used to bypass oppressive worldviews. All along, I wasn’t being coquette Lana Del Rey Vinyl vibe embracing my feminine energy. I was just another pawn of the system that I despise.

Feminism is flawed because it is a movement powered by people and people are inherently flawed. —Roxane Gay, Bad Feminist.

As feminists, we must learn where we fall short and to uphold the spirit of resistance and intersectionality and as women, we must create allies among ourselves.

We can’t avoid that feminism will be framed against us but we can assure ourselves that in the process, we do not retain the status quo that we are trying to abolish.

This serves as a gentle reminder that feminism is a constant struggle and not a pop culture trend.*

Maegan Matamoro is a political science student and has the habit of writing pieces that deeply resonate with her, calling it academic trauma dumping. As an avid reader of feminist non-fiction books, she realized that her female rage comes from acknowledging that it is her reality and not because she is a Taurus.


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