@LOSTNOTFOUND: Hi, Singlestalk. I was in your class before. You’ll probably identify who I am and that’s okay. My pen name is for the public, not necessarily to hide my identity from you. I’m now the CEO of our family business. Being the real boss and making my own hours are nice but this is not where my passion is. I’ve been sketching clothes for friends as far as I can remember. I know I can make it as a fashion designer. If only I’ll be able to at least try. I have enough savings to take the risk. I’m already in my late 30s. I just don’t know if I should and if I will, how should I break the news to the family?
DJ: You are a CEO. Are you living your best life? Since personal ties are involved, I understand how major decisions such as this require considerable thought. Work relationships in a family business are almost determined to be a lifetime. I have friends engaged in one and I have nothing but respect for the sweat and tears they devote to continue the family legacy, at times at the cost of beginning the life they truly want to live. It must be gut-wrenching on your part to even seriously consider taking steps to walk a different path.
What are the things that matter to you? Is it being true to who you are? Is it personal growth? Is it your happiness and well-being? How are these currently expressed every day? Reflecting on these can help you see whether you are living where your mind, heart and spirit are aligned. Because wherever this space is, that’s where you truly belong.
Good thing you’ve saved up enough. That’s one worry off the list. Because if your road to happiness is somewhere else, I suggest that you go and follow it. Leaving the family business is not leaving your family behind. Your life choices, especially now that you’re in your late thirties, are matters of embracing your own values. You have a vision for yourself and your life. Who you are deserves a place in your decisions.
Pursuing another goal can be viewed as a positive step forward. You worked hard, you’ve learned a lot and you are making the next step in your life. This means you have developed confidence, the right life skills and independence to risk going into the world. Working on your passion, to make it on your own still echoes the entrepreneurial spirit that probably moved the founders — whether they are your parents or your grandparents — to create the family business you are now leading.
Hopefully you’re not thinking that you’re selfish for thinking about your life. Will your family hold you back? And even if they don’t exactly understand why you want to leave, can they still find a way to support your decision? Will they ever come to a realization around how good it will be for you to live where your passion and your strength combined? You’ll never know unless you have an honest conversation with your family. Start with a sibling or parent you are closest to. Then work from there. Assure them that you are not staying away from the family. You are just moving to something that’s you. Do you have an exit plan? Who would take over your role in the business? Have you trained a potential successor? These also help temper those feelings and give you hopefully an easier way out.
Regardless of what the genetic lottery hands you at birth, your personal and your professional experiences can still result in new insights into your own identities, passions and capabilities. The pandemic changed a lot of people’s perspectives. It nudged a portion of the world’s population to quit settling and to start living. While you cannot control your family’s reaction and how long it takes them to process everything, I still think honoring yourself by living your life the best possible way is a good risk to take. As what the wise often say, most of the things we regret are the chances we didnt take, far more than the things we did. All the best!