I THINK that you should not apologize for not wanting to get married just because people are telling you that your clock is ticking.
A commitment is not something you can unsubscribe from if you get tired and feel like you're just wasting your time. It's not easy to spend a lifetime with someone you realize you didn't know at all.
I think that you should not apologize for wanting to get married because you're scared to grow old alone. I think it's brave to share a part of your soul with someone. I think it's not a crime to want someone you can depend on when facing life's battles.
I think it's brave of you to deny the pressures of society because you have your inner demons to fight with. I think it's okay that unless you win over your silent battles, you would never make a lifetime commitment.
I think it's courageous of you to refuse to have kids because you want to end the generational trauma with you.
I think it's commendable of you to want to have children, not because you would have someone to look after you when you grow old and make your dreams come true for you, but because you want to raise a better version of yourself.
I think you should not be hard on yourself just because you feel left behind. But I hope you will never forget that it's okay to not be okay. I think it's okay to feel lost sometimes.
I think it's okay to not have dreams as big as other people do. I think it's okay to live your life one day at a time. I think that doing your best to survive is already enough. I think you're supposed to be where you are right now.
To God be the glory.
***
Syarmeyn is a part-time romance writer and a full-time introvert who loves spending time with her friends by the sea wall while eating street food.
Bacolod
Jottings: Overthinking

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March 27, 2023
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