Episode 10 of season nine of “The Big Bang Theory,” an American sitcom that lasted for 12 years about a group of scientists from Caltech, centered on the main character Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons) getting an earworm, or a catchy tune that gets stuck in the brain.
A portion of “Darling” by the Beach Boys made Sheldon crazy during that episode until he realized that the song symbolized his deep love for Amy, his then-ex-girlfriend.
At the end of the episode, Sheldon barges into Amy’s date and begs for her to be his girlfriend again.
While this is a cheesy romantic sitcom that shows an unrealistically hilarious view of love and romance among geeky academics, the value lies in how relatable these scenarios can be.
Loving someone is complicated to navigate especially when you’re in love with an equally weird person as you.
Growing up, friends and I have repeatedly argued about whether love is a feeling or love is a choice, and I have always been on Team Choice.
I have always believed that I am in control of my affections and that if I no longer feel a recipriocation of energy from someone, I could easily unlove them.
But as I grew older, I realized love is not exactly just a choice. Sometimes, the heart wants what it wants and no matter how logical your brain can be, the heart refuses to bend.
As you try to forget that one person who is no longer in your life, they continue to live in your head, rent-free.
You don’t even know they are there. They come out in the worst of times like on a first date with someone else, a boring conversation over dinner with a guy you matched on Tinder, or during a supposedly sweet goodnight kiss.
Their face, their voice, their image superimposes reality and you are stuck in that limbo knowing that you may be holding some other guy’s hand, kissing some other guy’s lips, but “he” is still who you’d rather be with.
It can make anyone powerless over their minds and hearts. Why can’t we get them off our heads? Why is it so difficult to forget them? Why can’t we turn off these feelings?
And perhaps it is so because the wounds of heartbreak are still fresh, or perhaps the love was too deep.
Either way, his image is still a reverberating earworm in my heart.
“Don’t know if words can say but darlin’ I’ll find a way. To let you know what you meant to me. Guess it was meant to be. I hold you in my heart. As life’s most precious part,” the song goes in my head like it did with Sheldon.
And I know the song simply means you.