Love is a Decision

Last week, we talked about emotions and feelings. Another feeling everyone experiences is LOVE. There are many forms of love – the most common are the love for family, for friends and for a significant other. We also adore our pets, our dress or even have fondness for our car. Here are types of love.

Love in both family and friendship:

tPhilia (affectionate love) – conversations between friends run deep; there is trust and open communication between close family members.

tStorge (familiar love) – friends reflect on many fond memories; families offer unconditional love and forgiveness.

Love in friendship

tPhilautia (self-love) – creating friendships that build you up.

Love in a family

tAgape (selfless love) – putting others first. It also shows God’s love for humankind.

Love in a significant other

tPragma (enduring love) – collaborating with your partner. A mature love that has endured for decades.

tLudus (playful love) – keeping love exciting with humor and flirting. Can be the beginning of a relationship (romantic love).

tEros (romantic love) – setting time for you and your partner.

The type of love is not just exclusive for “friendship” or for “family.” There are friends who are like family. Love for others reflects our love for God and God’s love for us.

Love is a feeling that is real. It happens to all of us. Love is a decision. YOU choose what to do with this love. Decide what is obvious. If you are married, and fall in love with someone else, you should be reminded that marriage is a commitment. You obviously should not have an affair. Or if you are a priest and falls in love –it is okay, it is a normal, but you know your boundaries – you may decide to keep it to yourself and God. You may also decide not to do something about this love. But continue to acknowledge the feeling.

Psychologists Rogers and Maslow theorized that humans have this innate desire to grow, create, love, and have the power to direct our own lives. So, what they are trying to say is that we have control over our lives and that whatever we do in our lives is purely our decisions and ours alone.

I recently was able to affirm this and not just for myself.

The Christian Family Movement (CFM), a peer ministry that includes the whole family, together with the Diocese of Bacolod, organized the Young Adults Program (YAP) weekend last week.

CFM brings families together and develops lasting friendships. The members share life, faith, and best practices. Other programs include the Marriage Encounter, Family Encounter, the Sons and Daughters Encounter (SADE) and more.

YAP is a 3-day live-in weekend retreat given by volunteer YAP graduates under the guidance of a priest-chaplain who journeys with the participants in their pilgrimage of life. Eleven (11) young adults joined the 3-day retreat at CICM in Talisay. Rev. Fr. Dominic Derramas was the team’s priest-chaplain. The weekend was full of self-reflection and meaningful activities. The weekend also helped build a deeper relationship with God.

This writer was able to share in one of the sessions on life’s vocations. My partners were Alex and Lea, a married couple, and Fr. Dominic who chose the religious life.

I was inspired by the other sharers and what struck me most was owning feelings and making personal choices. Happiness is a choice. Love is a decision. All our actions are with God’s guidance (what does he call us for?) and His will for us.

The young ones, ages 20-40, are encouraged to join the next YAP weekend. You may contact Trish Pangilinan or Eunice Arnaez by messaging them on Facebook for more information.