SOME time ago I gave a Writing Seminar to the group, Davao Bloggers. This was actually the second workshop with them because the first was really "bitin." So we decided to have a Part Two. And in both seminars I had fun.
The first workshop was less stressful than the second. The latter was really a little difficult because of the process. Or as one participant claimed, "I learned a lot but it was a nosebleed." But as I quoted in that workshop, "hard writing makes easy reading." But really it was a lot of fun being with fellow writers because not only do you get to share thoughts and feelings but you get a lift from what they do and why they do it.
It is always gratifying and comforting to be with persons who share the passion for writing. And I also learned a few things.
Anyway one of the things I asked them to do was the how to process in writing. The exercise is a simple way of listing things like: how to lose a job or how to make a child rebel. We had fun with that so I decided to do the same thing with this article.
How to lose friends
1) Criticize their clothes, their music, their toes, their knees, their shoulders...
2) Backbite, libaki sila ba!
3) Be condescending and judgmental.
4) Be always late.
5) Do not keep promises.
6) Borrow money and do not pay back.
7) Borrow things and do not return them.
8) Try to change them.
9) Do not listen.
10) Disregard their feelings.
How to make enemies while watching a movie
1) Talk loudly on the phone in the middle of a movie. (NAG SINE KO! HALA, TINUOD KA!)
2) Prop up your feet in the chair in front of you.
3) Make loud comments. (HASTAAANG TUGNAWA DIRI, NGITNGIT PA!)
4) Do not watch the movie. Make kwento about work, enemies, school etc.
5) If you have seen the movie, tell everyone the ending. (NAMATAY NA SYA SA ENDING!)
6) Eat chicharon and other "loud" snacks. And slurp not sip whatever it is you are drinking.
7) Throw popcorn in the air and try catching them with your mouth.
8) Keep going out. (Excuse me po, sorry excuse po, hehehehe sorry)
10) Read aloud the credits. And if you really want to, sing the credits!
How to raise monster children
1) Reward negative behavior.
2) Give them everything they want.
3) Do not hold them accountable for their actions.
4) Tell them honesty is a good thing. Then lie.
5) Be the best example of what not to do.
6) Play favorites.
7) Be afraid of them.
8) Control them with money.
9) Tolerate their abuse.
10) Spoil them.
What Children want to hear from their parents
1) Wala ka na pala pera anak, sana nagsabi ka, eto 5,000. Hingi ka lang kung ubos na.
2) Sinampal mo pala sya? Sana tinawag mo ako para sinamapal ko rin sya.
3) Parang luma na yang damit natin binili last week, tara shopping tayo uli.
4) O anak, 2:30 pa lang ng umaga, bakit maaga ka?
5) Sige anak, inum pa, ang hina mo naman uminom. Baka gusto mo drugs?
6) Gusto mo ng chicks/lalaki anak?
7) Okay lang yan mabuntis anak basta ang importante ay, happy ka.
8) Bagsak pala lahat ng subjects mo? Mana ka talaga sa akin.
9) As long as you get what you want in this world, walang masama.
10) Niloko mo pala yung tao, lokohin natin uli.