IT’S very easy, just do the don’ts. But then again, you can kiss your Cesafi campaign goodbye.

(What? Were you worried that I’d be encouraging delinquent athletes?)

Updates on President Benigno Aquino III's presidency

I scoured the 10-page document for hours now, looking for loopholes and I only found one—and it’s a bit of a stretch even to call it a loophole.

Why look for loopholes? Well, I remembered Felix Tiukinhoy said there will be no more gray areas this year and I wanted to confirm that. Besides, one of the things sports editors are really good at—aside from ogling at tennis players—is finding fault.

Yep, it’s true! And I seem to recall those who see a lot of faults get a lot of gifts come Christmas.

But enough of that.

The loophole—or tiny hole to be accurate—I mentioned concerns last year’s contentious topic, walking out.

Per Cesafi rule, “A walkout is defined as abandoning the playing court as a demonstration of protest.”

Now if I really want to give the Cesafi commissioner a headache, I could order my team to walk out and say, “We’re too tired!” I could get away with it, right?

To be fair, I think that definition was put in because last year, I heard the coaches who were banned for walking out said they didn’t really walk out because they were just there! They never left.

That’s like saying, “I never punched him! His head hit my fist!”

Anyway, I’m pretty impressed with Cesafi rules, especially those regarding discipline.

For example, a player who gets a one-match suspension has to be on the bench in the next game to be considered as having served his suspension.

I know there are times suspended players don’t bother to show up in the next game because, well, it’s a waste of time for them.

This time, they have to.

Also, a player who gets thrown out has to pay P5,000. So anyone who’s planning to do a Luis Suarez has to prepare five grand.

By the way, did you know the Cesafi has a hair policy?

Yep, the Cesafi has one.

A player isn’t allowed to play if he has, “colored hair,” “tomahawk hairdo,” and “ponytail.” I don’t know if that was in last year’s rules but I really was quite surprised to see such item in the ground rules.

But the rule against ponytails actually makes sense. In football, a long-haired foe is deadly, what with all the heads swinging. The one against tomahawk, makes sense too, to a certain demographic.

I think anybody who has one shouldn’t be allowed to leave his home.

As to the colored-hair policy? Well I bet somebody is bound to violate that one.

I wonder who would that be?

“Blondie gets banned!” Hmm, I kinda like that headline, or, “Cesafi sees red over redhead.”

AWESOME TALE. Ronald Manaloto, whose daughter scored the winning goal for STC in the Milo Olympics, shared one of the team’s memorable experiences when they joined a tournament in football hotbed San Carlos City.

“We reached the finals. We were faced with a very strong Bacolod team. I talked to one of the parents from Bacolod and they were surprised who we were and even told me they never heard of us. During breaks, our opponent went to a nearby restaurant to rest with their fancy cars. We went there riding a tricycle and during break time, we were under the tree, munching on fish balls but we had fun. We eventually lost to Bacolod but we sure scared the hell out of them. Now we’re scheduled to go to Cagayan in October to represent the Visayas.

No promises, but we will try our best to win.

Mabuhay!!!”

Like I said, awesome, isn’t it?

This team won’t be going to the national finals with the goal of winning the gold, they just want to represent Visayas!

And that, I think, will make them unbeatable.

(www.football.cebunetwork.com)