Michelle (M): Breaking up is hard to do. But it’s possible to end a relationship without coming off like storm signal no. 3 ripping through your heart. So many guys try to "spare the woman’s feelings" when they break up. How women wish guys just learn to tell the truth.
That would be a nice change but it’s difficult for some men to do. I mean for guys to admit they’ve decided that they don’t enjoy the current girlfriends' company after all, or divulge that they’ve found someone else more attractive is like committing harakiri! Tell her that you no longer want to spend your lifetime with her after being together for nearly a decade?
Darwin John (DJ): At times, trying to make a wasted dating relationship work is like watching paint dry—slow and pointless. You have already done your best? One of you has already given up? I suggest that you move on.
It takes two to make a relationship work. You might end up having separate lives for good but the lessons learned might just make you better persons.
M: Handling delicate matters, like those of the heart, should be done with class and humility. It doesn’t have to be a shouting match or a battlefield of broken hearts. Instead of leaving a woman hanging, a guy should be man enough to call it quits if things aren’t working out.
Rather than deploy the hit-and-run approach, it’s better to lead off with the truth. Sure, it hurts but we’ll respect the man for doing the right thing. Maybe we’ll even feel oddly relieved to know the truth. We might not end up being friends again but at least the guy has learned how not to be a jerk. And we can be able to move on.
DJ: Only the truth can set people free. Being simply polite with each other can only do so much. And so is mere physical connection.
It’s hard to live with something or someone "reel." But don’t end it with a coma or an exclamation point. Keeping it open-ended keeps people hanging on lose ends.
Ending it with a fight makes it feel like an unresolved crime. Dealing with the situation truthfully while still having respect for each other is the way to go. It hurts. But one can deal with it better when it’s punctuated by a period. Time can heal all wounds when one knows what he or she is facing. Some are despondent in months, some for weeks and a few blessed personalities are unhappy for all of three hours before they realize that the change is to their liking!
M: The fact is, guys, we girls aren’t stupid. However, it’s easy for us to see and hear what we want to when we’re interested in a man. If we sense any doubt or cloud in your decision, we’ll see it as hope. Sometimes there’s nothing more powerful than hope. And sometimes, nothing more hurting than finding out that there’s actually nothing to hope for.
So tell the truth as gently, firmly and directly as possible. We may feel like you’ve hit us in the jaw with a strong upper cut but the truth always hurts less than the alternative; finding out from others that you‘re seeing someone else on the sly and denying our relationship.
DJ: There is no wrong so hurtful that it cannot be forgiven. No one really is perfect. We may have been wronged this time but in one way or the other, we may have wronged others, too. The best measure of forgiveness is our ability to be able to continue loving those who have hurt us even if we have been shattered or rejected. Love need not end with the relationship.
True love believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. That is forgiveness.
Only then can you truly say that you can live happily ever after. Even when apart.
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