AUGUST left us breathless with headline-grabbing incidents that we’d rather not mention in this L-shaped space of ours.

September is no different. Foremost in our mind now is the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks (often referred to as 9/11), which were a series of coordinated suicide attacks by al-Qaeda upon the United States. The scar of that attack is still pink. I read in the Internet that some survivors still have to cope with memories of that terror.

Updates on President Benigno Aquino III's presidency

There is so much pain in the world that you’d like to find a place where you can rest your mind. Trouble proliferates faster than the cold virus. Illness threatens you at the gate (the head throbs, the nose drips, the throat aches), poverty bangs at your door, sadness lurks in your rose garden—you stop to ask: “Where is relief?”

You have to create your own relief, an oasis where you can drink clear water to refresh your spirit, which affects your soul and body. The best spot of green is not even a place, but a means of communication. It is the fastest text messaging system in the world: prayer. You can create your own garden even at the office. When you feel low in spirit, just close your eyes, shut out all the din, and say that prayer in your mind.

Still, you might want something fun. Don't worry. The world has many shelves stocked with toys you can play with. As you experience all the pleasures offered by the world, you may not notice that time has passed by and you have grown older. No amount of “facial reconstruction” can stop the clock, even if you lie about your age.

Now comes the fun part. Your age is your top secret, but there’s a way to find out. Ask someone to calculate your age for you, using this “age by chocolate math.”

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10).

2. Multiply this number by two (just to be bold).

3. Add five.

4. Multiply it by 50. (I’ll wait while you get the calculator.)

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1,760. If you haven’t, add 1,759.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. You should have a series of numbers. The first digit (or two) is the number of times you want to have chocolate each week. The next two numbers are your age. This is the only year (2010) that it will work, so play this game now.