Luab: Remove the armor from your heart

SO many people have put shields over their hearts. The armor they put on is so heavy and thick that they can hardly breathe. They are so afraid of being hurt that they can hardly move.

I am not talking of love alone. Of course being hurt in love is usually the primary reason for a protection. The saying “once bitten, twice shy” is not just a cliché. It is the reason why people are so careful that they do not get hurt again.

I’m not worried about teen-agers or the people in their early 20s. They are young so they easily bounce back and their adventures into new settings, new peoples, and new places often keep them alive.

Photo from TheIndieSpiritualist

It’s the more mature professionals who find love late in life, the wives whose husbands leave them behind and the widows who are fooled into believing that they matter—these are the people who miss out on life when they decide to put on an armor.

There are also people who have been robbed, swindled and taken for a ride. They too guard their money and have become so mistrustful of the human race that they have forgotten to get out of their homes, forgotten to mingle with the human race.

Then there are people who started who started out in life by being so naïve, so trusting that when their friends turn out to be grasping, manipulative individuals, their faith in the bonds of friendship disappears. They then isolate themselves and that is not the way to live.

My list of hurt people can go on and on but life is certainly a series of darkness and light. If we can just make peace with our past then we can move on to the future.

Let’s take the case of the spoken or unspoken line, “I don’t love you anymore!” Of course, any woman who has been rejected will not jump up and down with glee. She’ll cry buckets of tears and may even mope for a good number of days or even months. (Please, not years because it’s unhealthy.) The reaction to being dumped is normal. We all have been rejected once or twice in our lifetime whether in love or anything else, but carrying the excess baggage of a shield or an armor will only weigh us down.

People who survived the sinking of a ship were made to board a ship again otherwise they will never enjoy the sight of sunrise or sunset from a ship, or the joy of seeing dolphins cavorting alongside a ship, or the phosphorescence that coats the seawaters on a moonlit night.

Many of us have experienced being in car accidents. Did we stop riding in cars? What is the alternative? Do we just walk?

A very good friend of mine told me that she will never give her heart again to any man. Why? She had once believed in someone whom she thought loved her. After a year, he faded out of the picture and attached himself to a mutual friend of theirs. The next thing she knew was that he married their mutual friend. After a year of our goading her into removing her armor and her tough attitude against the world, she did free herself from her pain. Today, she is the mother of three children with a husband who dotes on her.

Not all people have happy endings but we all just have to give ourselves a chance to allow the pain and the bitterness to drop from the heart that we guard so closely.

Every bit of life must be savored and if one did stumble on what one thinks is an irreparable loss, then all one has to remember is an old Cebuano saying: “Dili man mahimo nga magpungko ka lang sa daplin kay mahadlok ka molabang sa dalan.”

Jesus was rejected not only once but several times during the 33 years of his life on earth. He lived life to the fullest, mingling with crowds, talking and going about life fulfilling God’s will.

God always has taught us to open our hearts, listen to its needs to love, understand and live life. It’s okay to be pierced, to be hurt. Wearing an armor may protect us from hurt but the opposite is also true. The armor also prevents us from receiving the happiness which also often comes our way. So drop the armor if you are wearing one.

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