CLAUDINE Barretto believed her marriage with ex-husband Raymart Santiago did not work out because it started on the wrong foot.
On Monday's episode of lifestyle program "Kris TV," the 36-year-old mother of two said she was still mourning the death of former boyfriend Rico Yan in March 2002 when she and Santiago started seeing each other.
"I was so broken, I was so sad. Namatayan ako tapos there's somebody who is there na parang knight in shining armor. Parang I played safe," she said.
Yan, a matinee idol, died in his sleep while vacationing with friends at the Dos Palmas Island Resort and Spa in Palawan.
Barretto and Yan dated for four years before the actor died on March 29, 2002.
Two years after, Barretto married Santiago in a civil wedding in Isabela on on May 2, 2004. This was followed by a Tagaytay City nuptial on March 27, 2006.
Looking back, the actress said she should have waited to be whole again before jumping into a new relationship.
She said her marriage with Santiago might have worked if she's fully prepared for it.
Right now, Barretto said she and Santiago are friends for the sake of their children, Santino and Sabina.
"We're trying this thing called uncoupling. We have to make decisions with the children as a family pa rin. Hiwalay kayo pero you have to be together for the kids when it comes to decision making, anything about the children, even the schedule," she said.
The actress said they decided to settle their differences and go through counseling because she already saw how the kids got confused and affected by their rift.
"Nakita ko kasi na pag hiwalay na kayo, parang magkagalit na kayo. Hindi naman pwede, hindi pwede na ganun. You will always have a relationship because of the kids. Naguguluhan na din sila kasi sa away away. We failed as husband and wife, so let's not fail as parents pa," Barretto said.
Aside from fixing their conflict, the ex-couple is also in the last stage of the annulment process.
Barretto revealed that she and Santiago are set to sign property settlement documents, a crucial step before the court finally grants the annulment, on Tuesday.
The actress said what she's been through is a traumatic experience, but she's thankful that she has her kids and parents, Inday and Miguel Barretto, with her.
She's praying for total healing and the ability to fully forgive and forget.
"Iniisip ko lang talaga ganito ay ako naman. Ako kasi it's always other people first, friends, family. Naubos talaga ako. Then you wake up one day, you're going through something and you're alone," the actress said.
"(My prayers are) peace of mind and complete healing. And yung kaya kong mag overlook ng offense. Yung kaya kong mag forgive ng totally, na kaya kong i-surrender totally."
Barretto is returning to the big screen this September via Star Cinema’s latest offering “Etiquette for Mistresses” with Iza Calzado, Cheena Crab, Kim Chiu and Queen of All Media Kris Aquino. (Sunnex)