When it’s about boys, no longer about toys

ALMOST every other week, our five-year-old K would stress her dad as she innocently and happily talks about topics related to boys. You see dearies, my dear conservative husband is on a mission to prolong K’s innocence about boys and anything romantically inclined for as long as possible. Because of this, we do not let our daughter watch teleseryes. We also do not talk about boyfriends or girlfriends. K does not even know what a crush means!

But of course, you cannot fabricate an impenetrable, invisible wall to protect your child’s innocence. At some point she will learn about boys on her own.

One time she was playing with her seven-year-old friend and they were having a girl talk while cooking papers and sticks. Of course, dear conservative dad and totally “kilig” mom are eavesdropping.

Her seven-year-old friend said, “I have three boyfriends.” She proceeds to enumerate the names.

K, sounding as if “nalugi na Intsik” replied, “I don’t even have a boyfriend!”

My husband was totally floored at our daughter’s reaction. He could not believe that K’s friend actually believes she has three boyfriends and finds it even more inconceivable that her own daughter feels deprived because she doesn’t even have one.

And just recently, our little one proudly told her dad that her classmate had been tying her shoelaces. Which got an ahhh-ok-reaction from her dad up until she mentioned a boy’s name. The conversation quickly turned into her dad telling her she shouldn’t make boys tie her shoelaces and the little one seeing nothing wrong with it – after all, it was her boy who was her friend who offered to do it. They reached a stalemate with the little one saying, “I don’t trust you that it’s wrong.”

Goodness! If this is a prelude of the teenage years, heaven please help us!

And it doesn’t help that just a few nights ago, K proudly told her dad that she knows how husbands and wives kiss during their wedding.

“The husband bends his head like this. And the wife bends her head the opposite way, and then they do this (puckers her mouth while closing her eyes). That’s true love’s kiss.”

My husband was not able to sleep well that night and was still bothered when morning came. This boy talk gives more stress to my husband than all his clients combined.

It doesn’t help that his wife doesn’t take it seriously. I try to hide my laughter when K is around, but when we are alone, I bring up the topic just so I could make exaggerated imitations of his reactions. I am usually the only one amused.

I remind my husband that at K’s age, I married my brother’s best friend in a wedding ceremony officiated by his younger sister and which took place in their parents’ bedroom. When we were pronounced husband and wife, we kissed each other’s lips and we hugged each other. A few hours after being married, we got bored and played jolens and were soon quarrelling with each other because he cheated. Yup, at around five years old, I was already secretly married. And I am sure we would also have gotten a divorce had we known what that is.

But seriously, I want to be the kind of mom who would talk about boys and sex to my daughter. I want to be the kind of mom who would share the excitement of receiving flowers and eating a suitor’s chocolate offerings while thinking of schemes on how to nicely friend zone the poor guy. I want to be there to share the pain of a broken heart. I want to know about her true love’s kiss.

My husband actually agrees with me. His constant reply usually revolves around, yes, I will be that kind of mom, but right now the main thing is to keep K innocent. And yes, she can have a boyfriend – when she’s thirty years old.

Cheers to raising kids!

[Email me at plonkytalk@gmail.com or like my FB page: https://www.facebook.com/PlonkyTalk or check my blog posts at http://plonkytalk.com]

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