AND just like that, an era ends for me, and new adventures begin.
About five years ago, when my husband and I decided to have a baby project, he was able to convince me to put my career on hold. For a few months, I became a stay-at-home wife fully devoted to preparing my body for a baby. When I finally got pregnant and eventually gave birth, I became a stay-at-home mom, fully devoted to taking care of our little one.
But it wasn’t a smooth ride! I had my breakdown moments whenever I missed my “old life.”
My last career post was Sales and Finance Coordinator for a British owned company that had numerous international branches. I enjoyed the perks of being a married, working woman without a kid. That means I could go out of the house whenever I want and buy whatever I want that I can afford. I travelled, I shopped and I slept and woke up on my own time.
I surrendered all that in exchange for a child. Don’t get me wrong, it was all worth it! But I could not deny that there were times when I buckled and cried and had drama moments.
I miss high heels! I just want to be able to sleep for eight hours straight! I want to be able to speak with someone that knows more than twenty words! Can’t I pee with the door closed!?! My brain is rusting! I am a woman, not just a mother!
I have always been able to earn a salary at par with my husband’s so when I am in my I-cannot-believe-I-am-living-this-boring-life state, I would tell my husband to allow me to exchange places with him. I have been working two months after my college graduation and I know I am good at it. Being a full time mom was something new and frightening for me.
But my husband and my dad kept me on track. The first five years of a child’s development is crucial. Proper mental and emotional development should be fostered during this period.
The mother and daughter bond has to be strongly established. K still needs me. And so I put my life and my self-fulfillment on hold.
My husband and my family did what they could to provide distractions for me. My younger brother invested in a pizza business which I eventually had to close because I could not manage to run it while focusing on my baby. My husband encouraged me and gave me the equipments I need to be able to write. He gave me money to invest in online businesses. The entire family enthusiastically supported my tutorial center venture “para dili magsamok si Kathy.”
There was only one thing my husband requested which is strongly echoed by my family: that whatever I do, our only child will always be the priority. And so for the last few years, I only did things that I could easily drop whenever the little one needs me, for whatever reason.
But all that has ended. K is now five years old.
She rides the school bus going home, washes her own panty and reads her own bedtime story. She decides when she wants to go to my parent’s house and calls my dad to coordinate with him. We still play together but she can be left alone to amuse herself. We still need each other, but we are now both ready to have our separate worlds.
And just like that, an era ends for me, and new adventures begin.
Cheers to raising kids!
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