Darwin John Moises and Michelle Mendez-Palmares
Michelle: They say 50 is the new 40. Although we have several more years to go before we reach the golden age, it dawned on me, again, that life moves so fast. Instead of midlife crisis, we now hear of a quarter life crisis. There’s even child stress! If rapid product upgrades make our current gadgets almost obsolete, you can imagine the changes that people go through in the different stages of their lives. Many want to change their image, reinvent themselves and move forward. It’s not surprising. There’s a mass movement of people who are refusing to go quietly into middle age or old age. I think every generation dares to dream big.
DJ: Generation Y turned Generation Y-not? Then after, maybe a Generation Z, and hopefully not z for zombies! Seriously, we ought to make the most with who we are, what we have, right where we are. Only then do we feel that our life can really begin. Trouble is that, we almost never get to the “living” part because ironically, we are too busy with the business of living!
M: There is a formula that my dad used to give when he was asked to give a speech during weddings. He told couples to follow his 5F’s formula. First is faith. We should put God first and in the center of our lives. Then comes family, finances, friends and fun. My dad said that if you put finances first over faith or family, you may have a lot of money but at the expense of having an empty and lonely home or a meaningless life. Others make the mistake of putting friends and fun over finances and at the end of the day, they will realize that they lose “friends” when they no longer have the money or the means to continue partying with their so-called BFFs.
DJ: Life is what we make it. If we focus on the wrong things, we can end up unfocused
and directionless in life. Although each person is unique and we each have a purpose to fulfil, it helps if we learn from others, listen to those who have come before us and keep an open mind. Trying to be like another person will make us, at most, only the second best no matter how hard we try. We are special with our strengths along with our weaknesses. We are lovable and loving. But we have to begin loving our self first. You cannot give what you do not have.
M: Right. And when you have it and find yourself complete and in your comfort zone, then it’s time to challenge yourself and move out or move on. The fear of leaving our comfort zone is precisely what makes so many of us shy away from changing our lives.
We concentrate on the things we’re going to have to give up, rather than imagining the satisfactions and pleasures that could lie ahead. Amazing things happen when we open ourselves up to an unknown future. I read somewhere that when times get tough, picture how effortlessly chimps move through the trees. As they swing one arm forward, they let go with the other; they know they’ll be able to grab the next branch. In your heart of hearts, so do you. And if chimps can do it, why can’t humans?!
DJ: If chimps can do it, so can I! Sometimes we stay in a relationship even if it already limits our growth, even if it’s not going anywhere because of the fear of what lies ahead if we let go. Unfortunately, we also lose so much of life holding on to something that is in fact keeping us from becoming our best.
M: That is so true. Reinvention is like bungee jumping. You stand out on the edge of the platform, and you either do it or you don’t. Do something a little hard, somewhat scary, and when you succeed you’ll be better equipped to attempt the next intimidating thing. As the old school rappers used to say, “break it down.” If you’re dying to go back to school, enroll in a course. If you want to start a business, ask for a leave of absence rather than quitting your job. If you dream of climbing Mt. Everest, try Mt. Apo first. Big things come from small beginnings.
DJ: We can’t all make it perfect the first time and we are never going to be perfect.
But we need to love our self first before we expect someone to love us. Few more days to go and it is going to be Christmas and then a New Year. If we are to make that change in ourselves or in our lives, it is because of a well-chosen pursuit and not merely to be like someone else or to be like everyone else. There is so much going on in this world we’re sometimes caught up with its speed we forget where we came from or where we are going. Keep cool and you are just fine. And refuse to join the rat race. You are not a rat.