Echaves: A woman scorned

THE story of two women, one the wife and the other the alleged mistress, fighting over a man grabbed the front pages longer than it should.

In freshman journalism classes, that was fodder for discussion. Students loved ticking off the news elements that justified the news story’s placement in the front pages.

Conflict (between the warring women). Recency as in then and now. Proximity as in Cebu City. Prominence because the man holds a government position. Scandal because he’s a married man, is alleged to have illicit relations with one once his officemate.

Mystery, meaning is she or isn’t she? Are they or aren’t they? Will he or will he not issue the public statement about her not being his mistress?

Novelty (baseball bat as object for harming since this is often a Western approach). Oddity (the alleged mistress’ car was rammed and hit by the baseball bat, yet the wife landed in the hospital). And oh, yes, why the initial charge of murder?

Human interest because the wife was, we soon learned, two months pregnant and reportedly had premature bleeding.

For the identified nine elements alone, the story had to be front-page material. And then there’s the tenth, significance.

There’s nothing new about adulterous husbands, including those in high places. So rare is the husband faithful to his wife till the end of his natural life that he should go straight to heaven.

My beloved father used to say to some of his “chick-boy” friends, “Kanang pangbabaye sayon; ang dili mangbabaye, lisod. Nganong ipanghambog man na ang sayon?” True. But this did not stop the philandering men from their ways.

Perhaps they need a Lorena Bobbitt. Remember this wife who became an international name when she cut off her husband’s penis and threw it out of a car window?

Imagine an Ecuador-born woman doing that to a Marine husband! Her tale of revenge for his philandering, and the long history of physical, emotional and spousal abuse is so classic that she sent couples, particularly the husbands, analyzing their interactions and relationships.

That the Filipinos elected president, once upon a shameful time, an actor who flaunted his women, proved that despite this country being the only Catholic nation in Asia, it adopts double standards.

Note the results of the 2013 morality interactive survey conducted by the PEW Research Center among 40,117 respondents in 40 countries.

To the question “Do you personally believe that extramarital affairs are morally acceptable, unacceptable, or not a moral issue?” 90 percent of the Filipino respondents said extramarital affairs are morally unacceptable.

Lorena Bobbitt, through her action later ruled by the court as caused by temporary insanity, showed exactly how unacceptable it is.

In the case of the wife of the government official, many friends ask, “Why run after the woman? Why not the man since he’s the errant one?”

Both should be called to task. No matter how a man pursues another woman, no extramarital affair will happen, short of rape, if the woman says no.

The man should be accountable, too, especially if he initiates the amorous overtures.

Bobbitt’s penis was eventually found, placed on ice and then reattached by surgery. Lorena had thrown it just outside their house.

To a woman scorned, that was a mistake.

(lelani.echaves@gmail.com)

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