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Saturday, May 25, 2019

Echaves: The bores

Many a reader asks why commercial media never tire of writing about bad or unpleasant events, instead of “good” news.

Often, the answer is that “good news” does not attract much attention, unlike negative news… about death, accidents, crimes, cop-and-robber chases, chitty-chitty-bang-bang events, and other events “out of the ordinary” or “unusual,” therefore uncommon.

So tell me, why we still cover news about President Rodrigo Duterte offering to resign, when he’s played that song ad nauseum?

Among candidate Duterte’s campaign promises was he’d resign if he was not able to stop the illegal drugs plague in three-six months after he became president.

Of course he didn’t, and added insult to the people’s blasted hopes by asking for more time. And then more recently, asked again for another year.

When the ombudsman’s eye turned to his alleged ill-gotten wealth, he then challenged Ombudsman Conchita Carpio-Morales to resign with him. To complete the pair, he threw in the same challenge to Supreme Court Chief Justice Maria Lourdes Sereno.

Smart-alecky remarks went “Can he not just resign by himself? Why wait for others? Misery does love company.”

The Chief Justice and the Ombudsman, of course, saw through him. He reminded them about that old story of four men--an American, a Brit, a Japanese and a Filipino. Seeing their banca riddled with holes, the American suggested that they each volunteer to lessen the load on the banca.

Having suggested it, the American stood up, shouted “Long live the United States of America!,” and then jumped out of the banca.

The Brit then stood up, shouted “Long live the Queen!, and jumped into the sea.

The Filipino stood up, shouted “Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!” and then kicked the Japanese into the sea.

Translated to today’s circumstances, Carpio-Morales and Sereno could have thought it would never be beneath Duterte to reprise the sneaky Pinoy’s tale.

Now, Duterte is pursuing a Constitutional change. Guess what’s his ante? Yes, he’ll resign from the presidency and disappear quietly into the sunset. Nobody believes him, of course. It’s a case of “pahele hele bago quiere,” quite a common Pinoy trick.

And that’s probably why this tedious, repetitive offer to resign still gets space in different media. Who would have expected that a president of this country, after mouthing the same lines in such a short time, would end up tedious, monotonous and boring? In just 1.5 years in office!

As boring and dull as his minions, House Speaker Pantaleon Alvarez and Oriental Mindoro Rep. Reynaldo Umali. Watch how they flaunt their power and display their arrogance.

No shred of finesse at all. But we should not be surprised. Remember how they pushed for the public viewing of the alleged sex video of Sen. Leila de Lima?

Listen to Alvarez announcing that the bill for the legal dissolution of marriages is not self-serving. As a Manobo, he said he can have multiple marriages.

His present lady love should feel antsy. Methinks her days are numbered.
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