Fernando: Causes of Filipino couples’ fights

OF COURSE you love your husband or wife. Marriage feels like heaven. Honeymoon seems like forever. But no matter how you like this to last, there will come a time when the relationship hits the rocky part because the reality is that no marriage is perfect. This should not make you however to do foolish things because of the fact that no marriage is perfect.

Here are 5 causes why Filipino couples fight:

1. Money. Whether you’re rich or poor when got married, you will still find yourselves soon arguing about money. If you decide that one should keep the earning, who would it be? If you decide to keep your own money, who would take care of the bill? The house bill, electricity, water, tuition, and health bills. The more if you are poor. Money is not evil but it cause a lot of arguing and misunderstanding if not settled in the right manner.

2. Friends. You will try your best to understand why your husband or wife seems to spend more time with her/his old pals. Then one day you’ll just woke up thinking that you are already fed up. So either of you will soon start nagging or asking an explanation why they appear happier when they are with their officemates or friends. When things got out of control. There will be fight and shouting and lots of arguing.

When you think you have tried your best to understand him/her, you will him/her argue that you don’t understand at all. It will flare up if you can’t control your emotions.

3. Old family/In-laws. The fact is your husband or wife didn’t grow up with your family so he/she doesn’t know your parents well. When they nose around one of you cannot keep silent and react about it. Most often than not, the son or daughter will run to his/her family’s defense and when you didn’t see this coming, misunderstanding will definitely follow.

To avoid this, before you react on them or about your in-laws especially when it’s a critic or correction, make sure you talk to your wife/husband first and explain your intention.

4. Time. You might think that when you’re working very hard in your office doing overtime and bringing work at home, you’re making your husband/wife happy, it’s not. You’re keeping them away from your radar. Or this is what they normally think. You’re not doing them a favor.

Sometimes you think that they will all understand what you’re doing. It’s for them, for the bills, for the future, for a comfortable life, a car, a house, and all. But when you take away the time with them, they will not see your cause. You might ask for an understanding but your partner will demand the same understanding from you. And there would be more misunderstanding from both of you.

5. Disciplining. This is new to both of you. You were not trained for this. You will discipline your children the way you see it fit but this does not mean your wife or husband see your way of disciplining the right one. You were raised differently. As a result you will have different way of raising and disciplining your children. This can be a source of conflict.

6. Household chores. If you’re rich who can afford to pay a helper, you might not have any issue on this concern. But if you can’t, which most of us can’t, then you need to talk to your partner who will do which. There is the rise of feminism now which cries for gender equality. Your wife will complain if you let her do all the work at home plus the children.

These are only parts of your colorful marriage life. These are spices of your relationship. If you don’t get past these challenges, you will have problems with your marriage life. But once you overcome all these, you can make sure you will celebrate silver, golden, and diamond anniversary unless the good Lord says it’s enough.
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