Seares: Mike Rama meets Digong

A DEVOTED supporter of Mike Rama, the former mayor, told this story: Ex-Mayor Mike was finally granted a long-sought-for meeting with President Duterte. Mike pleaded for Digong to clear his name. “I’m no drug addict, I’m no drug protector. My sole vice is singing.” Mike went on and on.

“You know, Your Excellency, Mr. President, sir, I dreamed the other night. You went on nationwide television and announced Mike Rama of Cebu is not in your list of drug traffickers and coddlers. Then you endorsed me, your humble servant, for mayor of Cebu City in 2019.”

Duterte told Mike, “Strange. I also had the same dream. I spoke on national TV. But I didn’t say anything about you. Although I did endorse someone for city mayor. Who was that, Mike Dino? Ah, Edgar Labella.”

True? My source wouldn’t swear on it.

Tomas invokes God

Mayor Tomas Osmeña isn’t known for invoking God to support his argument in any dispute he gets into but on the Metro Ayala fire issue he did.

“This is God’s warning to us,” SunStar quoted him (Tomas, not God), “If that fire occurred in a high-rise residential building, wow, that (would’ve been) a nightmare in my life.”

Which recalls the story of lawyer-newspaper columnist Eddie Barrita about a politician who woke up with a serious hangover and first thing he saw was his wife in curlers and overnight mascara.

He exclaimed “God!” Then, sensing a rising anger from her, quickly added, “What nightmare I had, dear. God help me. But here you are, the nightmare is gone.”

With lights off

A news reporter said he heard this from a fellow reporter who got it from a City Hall clerk who said he heard it from City Councilor Sisinio Andales, who’ll most likely deny it. Triple hearsay and strong deniability.

Two BOPK councilors were chatting during a lull in the City Council session.

Councilor A: My wife turns off the light when we make love. She insists, about the dark. Councilor B: My wife, too. Councilor A: That’s not the cruel part. After switching off, she hides and later reappears wearing a Team Rama t-shirt.

Feathers on his cap

We can’t confirm it but Presidential legislative liaison Secretary Ade Sitoy, the former Cordova, Cebu mayor, was said to have told this story about a Cebuano who worked in Manila as a department lawyer during president Gloria Arroyo’s term.

Three months after he started his work at DILG, the husband texted his wife who was working in Cebu: “A feather, am now head of my section.” Before the end of the year, he texted her, “Another feather, am now an Asec (asst. secretary).”

Much later, a friend of the family told the wife her spouse was fired some weeks ago but stayed in Manila to look for other work. She texted her husband, “What have you not been telling me?” His answer: “So sorry dear. Was fired. Send plane fare.”

The wife texted back: “Fly on those feathers.”

When one is dead

Broadcaster-newspaper columnist Bobby Nalzaro likes to quote, “When you are dead, you are dead.” Loves it, next only to the quip “I’m a not a lawyer but…”

On a related note, a friend of Tomas claims the mayor has already outlived seven or eight “enemies” who had wished him ill and worse. Is that supposed to frighten and silence Tomas’s critics?

Maybe Bobby who regularly snipes at the mayor won’t be bothered a bit by the implicit warning. You know, “when you are dead, you are dead.”
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