Seares: CJ Sereno’s psychiatric record

WHAT do they want to see in Supreme Court Chief Justice Ma. Lourdes Sereno’s psychiatric files? Rep. Reynaldo Umali, chairman of the House committee on justice investigating the impeachment complaint against Sereno, said Tuesday two psychiatrists have been invited to the public hearing.

A smear campaign, Sereno responded.

Complainant Larry Gadon earlier said Sereno scored four in the tests, which says, Gadon claimed, she is unfit for the post of chief justice.

Which brings up this story that doctors and patients can relate to:

A psychiatrist tells his patient, “You are now cured of the illness. Congratulations.”

The patient’s answer: “I don’t know, doctor, if I should be happy. Before, I was God. Now I am only chief justice.”

You don’t shout it out

If CJ Sereno did have some mental illness but was cured, it is isn’t something she would have laid out on the House impeachment floor.

It’s not like cancer that, say, Cebu City Mayor Tomas Osmea would trumpet every time he gets back from his medical checkup abroad, complete with a photo of an unsmiling doctor beside the patient.

Why two psychiatrists

And two psychiatrists have been invited by the committee. Maybe for one doctor to re-enforce the other doctor’s conclusion -- or contradict it.

There’s this story about a psychiatrist who wants a patient certified as cured: “She no longer thinks she’s a goat.”

The other doctor objects: “Though nobody says she munches grass, she still calls her child a kid.”

Sereno, like the House committee members and those who enjoy watching the House presentation, are presumed to be of sound mind.

Sh*thole, sh*thouse

They’re debating in the U.S. whether President Trump uttered “sh*hole” or used “sh*thouse” when he negotiated with Democrats on immigration policy. Is there a difference?

Oxford Dictionary says “s-hole” means “extremely dirty, shabby or otherwise unpleasant place” while “s-house” is a toilet or extremely dirty place.

Trump defenders say Trump used “s-house,” believing it’s less of a cuss word than “s-hole.” Same sentiment on countries he wanted less immigrants from, where people are black or brown.

A foreigner who joined a “Suroy-suroy” tour years ago asked a news reporter where he could, ah, “sh*t.” “Sh*t, man,” the reporter, aping the visitor’s lingo, said, “the sh*thouse is far away but theres the bush, man.”

Frank’s trash problem

Lawyer-columnist Frank Malilong’s woe caused by reckless dumping and failure to collect garbage regularly in his neighborhood has obviously worsened.

He just publicized prayer to the Lord asking that trash-dumpers and trash-collectors be enlightened or inflicted with non-stop diarrhea, whichever could solve the problem quickly. And the invoked punishment: that “they drown in their refuse.”

In “Dante’s Inferno,” in hell’s Circle 8, those who are made to “lie up to their necks in feces” are flatterers. Like those who suck up to the president, one’s boss, or one’s spouse.

Will managers of hell consider Atty. Frank’s suggested punishment? Chances are as dim as, magically, his neighbors stopping the wanton garbage-throwing and City Hall and barangay turning efficient in collecting trash.

Junjun and the ruler

It’s true Gov. Junjun Davide once complained that he occasionally finds inaccuracies in Capitol stories and some reporters at times read papers on his desk without permission.

And, most reporters covering the governor know, broadcaster-columnist Bobby Nalzaro criticizes Governor Junjun now and then. Which is probably what spawns this quip about the governor and the broadcaster:

Q. Why does Junjun use a ruler to read Bobby’s newspaper column?

A. To get Bobby’s story straight.
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