CEBU City Mayor Tomas Osmeña is not fond of making jokes, especially about himself. Most likely you won’t hear this from him.
Think 2019 and Tomas is campaigning house to house, establishment to establishment. One afternoon, he’s in a bar at Fuente Osmeña, and, seeing a woman at a table, pays for her drink. She’s thankful but wants to know why, their being strangers and all.
Tomas said, “I’m running for mayor. And I hope I’ll get your vote.”
The woman replied, “You have my vote. Anyone’s better than the jerk who’s in City Hall now.”
 Lawyers ‘lost moral fabric’
Lawyer-multimedia journalist Frank Malilong Jr., who routinely bashes lawyers in good humor or genuine affection, may not find amusing the Jan. 23, 2018 report of the Senate committee on public order, dangerous drugs and human rights.
It’s one news item that can’t be joked about... I take that back. There’s nothing that can’t be joked about if it concerns lawyers. But hold on.
The Senate report recommended disbarment or disciplinary action against 19 lawyers (who include UST civil law dean Nilo Divina), members of the frat Aegis Juris, for allegedly covering up the hazing death of Santo Tomas law student Horacio Castillo. It also focused the accusatory light on a judge who, according to the bar confidant’s report, didn’t proceed against the lawyers despite his “motu propio” duty.
The lawyers named had “lost their moral fabric,” the Senate committee report said.
On moral fabric, which most everyone expects from lawyers, there was this member of the bar whom a judge angrily asked: “Have you no moral fabric, ‘Pañero?”
“I have, judge. And I’ve used it remarkably well, for myself.”
 Bush rating shoots up
George W. Bush, 43rd United States president, has turned his popularity rating downside up. Now, six in 10 or 61 percent of Americans think favorably of him. A new CNN poll says that nearly doubles the 33 percent the public gave him when he left the White House in January 2009.
People who didn’t like Bush must have included Moses. After president GW Bush retired, he bumped into Moses. Bush couldn’t finish his greeting and Moses ran. The next time, Moses fled upon seeing Bush a few meters away.
Curious about Moses’s odd behavior, Bush told his security to chase Moses and bring him to him. He then asked, “Why are you avoiding me?”
“Last time I talked to a Bush I spent 40 years in the desert.”
 What he’d rather wear
A town mayor in Cebu south, who’ll remain unnamed publicly, was not physically attractive to voters so he’d often ask his lovely wife to go the rounds and shake hands during each campaign.
In the last election, his much-better-looking-and-younger rival, whom the mayor had to face at a church-mandated debate, accused him of being “doble cara” or double-faced.
The mayor made an ugly grimace as he shot back: “If that’s true, would I be wearing this one?”
That stumped his rival. Not hearing or reading the line from any politician before, the crowd roared. The town reelected him.