THIS week, we must digress. Instead of heading off to consult Arlene Nang, we must speak of another table, this one in a restaurant called “Green Smoothie” on Session Road, at which I have a late, late lunch with friends late last week.

I regrettably arrived late to this already late lunch to find my amigas in some state of mild agit. Still, we partake of green fettuccine with green pesto, a giant vege banmei-like sandwich, and a tray of dressed up sandwiches which I am informed have still more vege in them.

When I was asked what I would like to drink, I told Vange and Jas that I need something not “healthy,” rather overwhelmed was I by the overall green vibe. No can do. Choices are limited to fruit shakes, mixed fruit shakes, a la these athlete things. I ordered one with bananas and about six other fruits.

It is then that I am informed that a young couple at the table next to us had earlier shushed Jas and Vange because they were watching a movie on their laptop (I know, whaaaaat!!!). Causing Vange to report them to the manager, who then asked her staff to inform the couple that the restaurant was a public dining place, not the couple’s living room nor their private movie house. And so my friends and I ate lunch. Talk is always a mile a minute with us three, since we have just soooo muuuuch to catch up on.

At one point, I hear Vange say “What?” It is directed at the couple.

Vange, to Jas and me: “Did you hear that?” Vange to the couple: “Did you just say the F word?” My friend, she proceeds to make it very clear she was having none of such language.

I am soothing her. She stood up and headed to the couple’s table and let them know in no uncertain terms that one, she heard the F word; two, the young couple have earphones and should just enjoy their movie already with the earphones; three, that their behavior is unacceptable and that they are not in their own living room; and four, perhaps apropos, that we are a table of teachers and not to be shushed. Young male denies he said the F word. Jas says she heard it. We let Vange have at it. The young couple leaves, young male in a huff.

We continue with our lunch, invariably “processing” the incident, and agree it must be written about. So, here it is. Moreover, there is a code of behavior for public dining places. Brats should stay home with their movies, not expect the world to conform to their need for silence in such places.

On a now note, let me say to Vange and Jas: It’s also a language thing. And to Vange: Vaketsch, it’s a very CO thing, too.

Next week, another digression. To a late lunch WITHOUT a table.