M: Jenny is 40, single and financially stable. Her concern is that it seems like she’s losing her reason to work for success. Jenny is in a position of abundance, so having more than enough on account of her success in her career may have triggered the desire to want more out of life than just being financially stable. Might it be that Jenny is feeling the crisis of having too much but actually realizing that she still has little, in some other aspects of her life anyway?
DJ: Feelings of emptiness—a lack of meaning or purpose—are experienced by most of us at some point in life. It can be for a variety of reasons. A loss of a loved one, a sudden change in circumstance like moving to a new home or place of work or a disappointment over a heart’s desire. Engaging in activities such as drinking, compulsive shopping or eating might help divert one’s feelings but still eventually yields unfulfilling results. The key then is not necessarily in filling one’s day with activities but in thinking and reflecting of what matters to her and how she can take action on that.
M: My father, who was the epitome of determination, focus and hard work due to poverty, learned to enjoy the fruits of his labor when he was already past 50. He was a great believer not just in earning more but in saving more. While he was careful with his money, he lived life being generous not just to others but also to himself. The secret, I think, is balance. You work hard for what you want but you also realize that what you gained are not just for yourself but meant to be shared. Jenny, I think, needs some time off not only to enjoy what she has but to step out of the usual to try to discern what she is meant to do.
DJ: She can leverage on her financial stability to commit today and the rest of her life to what she truly loves, to what her purpose is. And if she has not figured this out, making an inventory of what she’s good at which she’s also passionate about is usually the place to start. If she’s both inclined and naturally good at baking, for example, her purpose most likely has something to do with food. Perhaps, she’s a natural as a café owner. Then I suggest that she make a couple of goals in these categories—health, relationships, career and personal growth—that will lead her to what her purpose may be. Whether it’s cookery, photography, painting or teaching, it is important to remember that life isn’t just about her but in what she can do given who she is to make things and the people around her better than she first found them.
M: I know it sounds ironic but it is during times of confusion, tiredness or lack of interest in what we do that we ultimately discover our passion or our purpose.
DJ: It happens, Mic. And whenever Jenny’s emptiness starts to rise and make her feel like she isn’t doing anything worthwhile, I suggest that she take out her list of goals. This will remind her of her purpose and give her back that sense of direction. No need to gauge her success on who seems to be ahead or behind her. Each of us runs our own race and at our own pace. We’re all unique and we all have a role to play. And I hope Jenny will always remember that this is her story, of which she is the star.