President Duterte believes he deserves a monthly salary of at least one million pesos. His actual take is P200,000 monthly which he deems not proportional to the load and hours he puts on the job.
He admits he has two wives. That is, factually, the average number of wives of kotong cops and scalawags in government.
I know a humble security guard who co-habits with three women and can afford their basic needs. His secret? He has been on family planning via vasectomy.
Feigning innocence , I asked him about the procedure. It is simply tying a little tube so that wayward sperm may not leak out and create unwanted babies. That is why the tube is called vast difference, he said.
Do you think the President deserves a salary raise?” I asked the ‘sekyu.’
“Habang tumatagal ang relasion, kuya, tumitindi ang maintenance. Mabuti si Pangulong Digong dalawa lang ang asawa. Yung iba d’yan maraming girlfriends at querida, kailangan kumita”.
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The President has a heavy workload and goes late in the night studying proposed solutions to pestering problems. He has performed well in the last Southeast Asian conference and brought prestige and honor to the country.
Truly his suggested salary hike is meritorious. He deserves a hefty bonus for playing the US and China against each other.
Mr. Sekyu agrees to the pay hike but is perplexed over the means and legality of the matter. “That is why I wanted him to be a dictator, he could dictate his own compensation,” he explained. What do you suggest? I asked .
One way is a Special Sweepstakes draw to raise the funds for his pay increase. The other one is for a bounty fee- that for every NPA team leader killed, he shall get a rebate of at least P10,000 per head VAT-free. That will be fair enough for the difficult job of a President who also dabbles in stand-up comedy shows, he added.
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Except for the Ilocanos, the Kapampangans fared better under martial law. It’s a fact that the dictatorship had the sobering influence of Pampango members of the Cabinet in the Marcos reign. It was a blessing that Marcos’ legal braintrust, the SolGen Estelito P. Mendoza was the procurator of the province. He kept in tight rein the harshness of martial law while clamping down the repressive impulses of the military. Mendoza also got a lion’s share of development projects for Pampanga, and succeeded to place the province in the priority concerns for socio-economic programs. These are the collective thoughts of most cabalen in remembering the dictatorship.