Seares: Edsa color: ‘Wa na diay ngilo?’

THEY’ve replaced “yellow,” dominant color in past Edsa anniversary celebrations, with “red, white and blue,” colors of the flag.

Some far-south Cebu folk will be asking, “Wa na diay ngilo?”

The funniest joke in the world, chosen by scientists who investigated the psychology of laughter in 2001, is about yellow.

Fictional detective Sherlock Holmes was asked by his sidekick Watson how the door to their apartment would be painted. “Elementary, my dear Watson,” said Sherlock, which Watson misheard as “Lemon Entry.” Thus the world-famous residence along London’s Baker Street has a yellow door.

Pitch from lawyer, doctor

People talk about lawyers and the practice of law these days chiefly because of the Feb. 1 killing of Atty. Jonnah John Ungab, suspected as casualty in the campaign against illegal drugs.

In accepting a case, a lawyer can take any side. He can be private prosecutor or defense lawyer and whichever the role, he fits right in. So can judges, some of whom prepare two drafts of their ruling, using to support acquittal or conviction the argument of the lawyer they favor.

Two lawyers, and this is true, were traveling by car on their way to a trial in Sibonga. One, after napping through most of the trip, asked his “compañero”: “Asa ta to ini, ‘Pre, prosecution o defense?”

No lawyer will admit it but he can give this line to a would-be client:

“Do we send you to jail or get you out of jail? Depends on which side we are. We will have evidence and arguments for wherever you’d like us to be.”

Lawyers talk more and better than most doctors but I have yet to hear a lawyer beat this line of a doctor to his lawyer patient:

“OK, you look fine, Atty. Not to worry. After a few tests, we can find something wrong with you.”

Rama streamer: no tough whodunit

It shouldn’t be difficult to find out who put up the tarpaulin streamer that reminded people of former Cebu City mayor Mike Rama’s alleged link to illegal drugs.

Talk to the people who physically put it up. One of them would ultimately tell about his role in the mischief.

One did so shortly after the “Never Again” billboard displayed at the CICC building towards the 1016 elections. The second billboard required equipment and a number of men. An engineer oversaw the operation. One among them squealed.

Reporters can try the utility people of their principal suspect. They’d know who climbed to the rooftop or the skywalk and nail down the streamer or billboard.

Benjamin Franklin said that if three people know a secret, it will be kept if two of them are dead.

Church money sharing

How to share proceeds from collections during mass has been a source of speculation among church-goers: how much goes to the priest, the parish, and the archdiocese?

Usually nobody knows outside the parish pastoral council, which is kept within the loop if the priest is transparent. Otherwise, it’s only the priest and his bishop who’d know.

A maverick priest, one story says, once suggested that the archdiocese adopt his suggestion on sharing revenue, which involves drawing a wide circle on convent floor and throwing collected bills and coins into the air:

-- Money that falls inside the circle goes to the parish; money outside it, goes to the archdiocese, or

-- Money that falls on the floor belongs to the priest; money that stays up in the air belongs to the archdiocese.

Fr. Mark Rommel Barneso, St. John Mary Vianney parish priest and Cebu Archdiocese youth commissioner, doesn’t think it was ever proposed by any priest; if it was, the idea must have been quickly squelched. The bishops know the law of gravity as well as their priests.

Besides, Fr. Mark would rather talk about the National Youth Day that Cebu is hosting next year, not about how they share the money.
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