THERE was once a time where women’s actions and welfare did not matter. Then it did, with the popularization of the terms ‘gender equality’, ‘women’s rights’, and the likes. Recently, men’s rights have been having a fair share of the popularization too.
Physical abuses done by women against men have recently been reported, and initiatives to file bills against domestic husband violence are considered. Psychologists have also started shedding some light on the existence of emotional abuse to men, which Mark Judge, an online blogger, reported that this deals more devastating effects on men than physical abuse do because “a punch to the face leaves obvious proof, evidence to use with the police to put the assailant behind bars. Emotional abuse, which men can tolerate and excuse away as normal, can go on for years, leaving a person weak, desperate, and profoundly suicidal.”
Judge emotional abuse happens when women bully their husbands, expresses unreasonable expectations to them, does verbal attacks, withhold affection, and emotionally blackmail their partners. These leave men in a constant state of anxiety and fear from watching out for her next emotional surges.
Aside from this, there have also been data on sexual abuses at school committed by teachers – where a third of it is done by female teachers with their young male students in 2014. And the numbers are gradually growing.
I happened to spot a meme on the internet about a recent incident of a 13-year-old student in Texas who impregnated his teacher, who was a 24-year old woman. The comments were flooded with sarcastic salutes to how the kid ‘slayed’ it. Other bottom commenters still had sufficient rationality to point out that no matter how ‘sexy’ or ‘bold’ the ‘accomplishment’ was, the kid was still a minor, and the teacher was an adult. It was still rape, even though it was not committed by a man, who was most expected by the stereotypical society to have usually done it.
Stereotypically, we would associate the stronger and more glorified ones to take on the role of ‘oppressor’ such as males. Other would find the whites, the Christians, or other dominant bodies to take on the role, as how Devin Foley wrote in his article about Cultural Marxism.
So, is the role of the ‘oppressed’ and ‘oppressor’ assigned by sexes? No. Both men and women are potentially able to become violent and oppressive. This means that there is no need to dichotomize or even label persons as men or women when it comes to violence.
People forget that violence is violence. Sexism is not an issue, nor should it dominate.
No, it’s not the fault of the ‘oppressed’ for being weak and susceptible to trouble. Women have been judged by the public for being a victim raped or molested for not going home early, for wearing skimpy, or for acting ‘the way they are’. “Don’t get raped,” some shout.
If they are the ones being dominant over men, you would hear some people cheer for their ‘girl power’, regardless of the violent actions they have performed. They associate it with fictional scenes where the formerly oppressed protagonist fights back against the villain. It is then rationalized as okay for women to ‘overpower’ men.
Men have equally been ridiculed for being prey to domestic or emotional abuse because they couldn’t “man up”. This means to assert their identity as men. Others would recommend the use of their manly strength, in this context, physical attacks, on women, just “for women to know their place”.
Rape done to men have even become a joke or a laughing matter to traditional thinkers nowadays. They think it is easy to wallop away an ‘attacker’ just because he is a man, or that the victim should consider himself lucky for being wanted by girls –and men who do this are wimps who couldn’t even fight back. What is disregarded is his consent and how he feels about being attacked.
Some radical feminists have also rejected the idea of chivalry; that they do not need men to help them. They believe that women do not need men to hold open doors for them – nor do they need men.
Violence and being a victim of it need not be attributed to a sex. Violence has no sex nor gender assignment. People, because of other factors, minus their biological designs, can become violent. No matter what the reason for falling as a victim of violence, one is a victim. Whether the person is a he or a she, that person needs to be redeemed from this.
And we should not condone this practice, whether the ‘oppressed’ or the ‘oppressor’ is male or female.
I believe the term chivalry is misunderstood. The term should no longer take up a meaning where men saves the damsel in distress nor being wooingly courteous. All should be courteous and respectful to all, especially to those who need it. Violence need not be a norm, regardless of the sex of the doer or prey.