BUSINESSMAN David Cua tells this story about a Filipino-Chinese worker named Yung who called up his boss (not Dave): “Boss, I cannot work today. I sick in head, stomach and legs.” The employer advised, “You know Yung. When I’m sick, I have sex with my wife. Soon enough, I get well.”
Hours later, Yung called up the office again, “Boss, you korek. Me much better, reporting this afternoon. Your wife beri helpful.”
Supreme Court Chief Justice Ma. Lourdes Sereno’s leave is totally different kind of leave. She calls it “wellness leave” while others say it’s forced indefinite leave.
And it’s not about the CJ being sick in the head, stomach or legs. Well, maybe in the head, as being impeached for scores of reasons, some of which are not even in the Constitution, can be mentally upsetting. No, Yung’s boss wouldn’t recommend his prescription for getting well.
■ Uson ‘just asking’
Mocha Uson, a blogger employed by the government, tries to wiggle out of the flap over her Feb. 25 poll in her blog: “Do you believe the 1986 People Power Revolution was a product of fake news?” She argued she didn’t say People Power was fake news, she merely asked her readers if they thought it was.
A radio commentator once conducted a random survey among his listeners: “Do you believe this politician (naming the public official) is corrupt?”
Confronted by the politico who threatened to sue him in court, the broadcaster said he was merely asking a question. The public official said, “How much were you paid by my rival?” The radioman bristled. “Just asking,” the mayor retorted.
The Supreme Court has ruled that questions, rhetorical or not, can still be defamatory.
■ When they’re unsafe
President Duterte’s advice last Feb. 13 to Kuwait overseas Filipino workers not to use condoms as the sex wouldn’t be pleasurable drew some fire, which most everyone read about already.
To the condom story about three women (Feb. 19, Light Monday), one of whom fainted when she learned the wife of a cheating husband had pricked holes on his condom, here’s a comment from a reader who didn’t wish to be named:
“You’re right. The president should have used a joke that promotes the use of condom. But that sort is hard to come by. Yesterday, I heard this quip from a late-night talk show host why condom use may not be safe: ‘You can’t trust condoms. I know a friend who uses a condom. This morning he was hit by a bus.’”
■ President’s sarcasm
After Presidential Spokesman Harry Roque said Duterte was merely talking the way he’d talk when he urged soldiers to shoot NPA women in their genitals, the president himself explained some more. He said he was using “a sort of sarcasm.” The “amazons” give birth to five or six kids, leave them and join the NPA, he lamented.
Someone -- a Provincial Board member, at a bar and off from his legislative session) -- says the president could’ve put it more clearly if he said something like this: “Not the NPA women’s fault when they bear children and abandon them to become rebels. Lock up or shoot their vaginas.”
Well, Duterte’s version was still sarcasm -- “sort of.” And it still demeaned women.
■ Being half-drunk
We heard this story about a Cabinet member who after work dropped at a bar with his colleagues. His wife, not used to seeing him inebriated, asked, “What do you mean coming home half-drunk?” The husband answered, “I didn’t stay long enough. You repeatedly called the driver to take me home.”
Lawyer-columnist Eddie Barrita has a version of it. The wife asking her husband, a wage-earner, “Unsay pasabot nimo, mouli nga hapit na mahubog?” The man answered, “Kulang bitaw. Wa na mi kwarta.”