Custodio: On pins and needles

I WOULD like to think that I am a patient person. Really. I am one of those who believe that patience is a virtue and it is one that I certainly wouldn't mind owning! Many times I have come to the conclusion that I am indeed patient, but equally so, I have proven too, that I have a very short fuse when it comes to certain things.

I hate waiting. The anticipation always seems to get the better of me and its manifestations can be quite physically debilitating as far as I am concerned! I get fidgety when I need to wait for something. I get anxious when I have no choice but to wait for things or events to come into fruition. Last week I finally had my solo exhibition opening and boy was I relieved that the day finally came! In the days that led up to it, I was sleepless, disturbed and breaking out in hives! My asthma was having a field day!!! Well, until the opening day came! The allergies and asthma attacks reduced to less than half! Talk about stress!

What do I despise more than waiting? Waiting in line, of course! In fact, I hate waiting in line so much I need to have 'activities’ while doing so to keep me distracted from the fact I am actually in line waiting!!! You will likely find me crouched in a corner with a book or busy tinkering my mobile phone for music, movies or social media distraction! I am eternally thankful for the invention of internet because it has up my distraction options by leaps and bounds! Yeyy!!! Still there are a few (thank God) times when no amount of distraction can keep me from hitting the roof. For example, can you imagine my rage when somebody cuts my line? Oh. My. God. I will not go quietly! In fact, depending on how pissed off I am, I will not hesitate to let them know how seriously irked I am about the situation! I swear you will not hear the end of it until I feel vindicated! There are times though when I make the extra effort to understand people who cause delays because quite honestly, I am one of those people, too! It is embarrassing to complain about other people only to find that you are just like them. Maybe not all the time but nevertheless, I too, am guilty of committing the same faux pas. Haaay. Tao lang po.

Lately, I felt I had to do something about this bad habit so I decided to try out a few things and here is what I realized about them:

Counting one to ten (or 20, 40 etc) works only if you are not provoked again by the same irritating situation. For example, you have waited 30 minutes for your gyoza only to find out they forgot to tell the cook about it. That's okay right? At least I have sushi coming! And then, they forgot your tamago sushi too. I am sorry but counting even up to a thousand won't work. No no no.

Taking a deep breath can only help so much. Oh I have tried this a lot! I have tried it many times! But when you have been waiting so long but something goes horribly wrong, taking deep breaths will provide no relief! When I was in college, I was trying desperately to get a slot on the last subject I needed for that semester. I had been in various lines for different professors and I kept running out of slots! Obviously the counting did not work and I came to the last chance professor who had slots available. He then warned me not to enrol in his class because he will make fun of me! Talk about bullying! I tried to kept my cool and took deep breaths but I was doing it so much I became dizzy! Long story short, I took another subject. No subject is ever worth that kind of aggravation!

Let it go. Yeah. Whatever that means to you, just do it. Some days I let go by letting off steam. I tell the person off if the cause of my waiting distress is a human. Truth be told, some of them donut because we let them so it is only right to remind them that they should behave. Still there are days when I just really let go. Meaning, I just let things be. There are some battles that need we need not be won. You know, pick them. Some things are just not worth it, might as well reserve your energy for bigger thing right? It may feel a bit disconcerting but we'll who knows? You might be regretting more than you should if you totally lost your cool! In every life experience there is a lesson to be learned. Sometimes we hate how these life lessons are planned but at some point, in the future, you will realize their worth. So try not to let the pins and needles bother you that much. When time comes the discomfort it brings you will allow you how to best survive the challenges of life!

Happy Sunday Everyone!!! :)
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