Monday, September 16, 2019

Quibranza: Addiction Royale

I AM currently drafting an apology letter.

“Dear clan mates. It is with great regret that I write this letter. Very recently, I have failed to oversee the progress of my village. But more so, I have treated the last clan war against (real clan name withheld for privacy) with a degree of neglect resulting in a tough and bitter loss. I humbly beg penance and absolution from you...”

The rest of the letter is too personal for publication.

A few days ago, I decided to download one of the apps that mobile games developer Supercell was promoting on its Clash of Clans (COC) game. It’s called Clash Royale—not Royal (because that lowercase “e” makes all the difference in the world. Why would a James Bond flick use it, right?). The characters featured in the game play are more or less based on the characters in COC, although new characters and rewards are introduced in the latest game.

If anybody here is new to Clash Royale, here are a few tips:

  1. Don’t use your gems as much as possible. I don’t know what else they’re for. But I’m pretty sure an update in the near future will show us some reason why these gems are precious.

  2. There are “chests” in the game (like silver or golden) that a player collects every after a win. These chests contain new characters, gold and gems. These chests take time before they “open.” Some take three hours (silver), some take eight (gold). So for starters, open a silver one during the day and a gold one when you’re about to sleep. You’re welcome.

  3. Pacing is key. And counter-attacking is also an option. Once you start playing, you’ll see what I mean. When I play chess, I hate having to play the black pieces because I’m used to “attacking” first and fast; I prefer playing white. But in Clash Royale, playing “black” could be key.

People say mobile games (or devices) are dangerous. They take one away from the reality of the moment—or worse, distract one when he should be fully aware of his surroundings in some situations like driving a vehicle or taking a piss. I fully agree, you should be able to piss without your mobile device.

Am I addicted to Clash Royale? I don’t know. But here’s one thing about it for me: it has taken my mind off Facebook, which every six years in the Philippines, turns into a stage big enough to cast people and our political dramas; unfortunate cases of fleeting patriotism.

I mean, accept it. No single man (or woman) is the messiah of the orient seas. Even if the candidate I’m rooting for wins, it will take a gargantuan collective and inspired effort from everybody to get out of this tax-burdened, corruption-covered, plunder-friendly pit called the Philippines. And thanks to our multi-party political system, it’s harder to get the majority to start working together.

That’s why Clash Royale is my personal mobile medication of choice. Instead of having to deal with a lot of “parties,” it keeps things simple (at least for now). Two players, up against the other, one on one, mano a mano.

It also makes commuting bearable and quite faster than usual. From Guadalupe to downtown, it just takes about six games rather than having to stare at streets for 20 minutes. But play at your own risk, because, snatchers.

As for my clan mates, I have yet to send my written apology. Although I doubt someone will be able to read it; barely anyone showed up for the last clan war. I wonder why.

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