JEANS, shirt and sneakers. That was what I wore on the day a driver stuck his head through the window of his truck, grinned lopsidedly at me, whistled and said, “Hi, miss.” It was an outfit even the most conservative woman I know wouldn’t bat an eye at and oh boy, how my lola frowned at most of my wardrobe choices. Even with this perfectly normal everyday outfit, one my lola actually approves of, I still got a lot of catcalls from the men gathered down the street to construction workers who had the gall to whistle and point at me like I’m nothing but a piece of meat parading in front of them, not worthy of even an ounce of respect.
“Nagbibigay lang naman sila ng compliment sayo.”
What makes catcalling harder to endure is the fact that not only are you being objectified by doing nothing but existing, some people might actually invalidate your distress and dismiss it as you are throwing a hissy fit over nothing. Compliments should never feel like harassment.
You want to compliment a woman? Tell her, “Your eyeliner’s looking on fleek, girlfriend,” or compare her smile to the stars you see at night. Be cheesy. Be metaphoric. Be funny or witty or sincere. Just use your words, for crying out loud. Don’t resort back to the crude ways of our hairier ancestors eons ago. To remain a rude, catcalling caveman in the 21st century when our culture continues to evolve is a shame indeed.
You see, it’s not just about the act of whistling but the entitlement behind it. Men who freely whistle at a woman without a second thought is a clear indication that men view women as the weaker sex instead of seeing them as equal and worthy of respect. It encourages the notion that women are men’s property which is a very outdated, sexist and chauvinistic point of view. Catcalling is like the fertilizer to that deadly, stubborn weed called rape culture because it sends out this horrible message that men can do anything to women.
Women should be respected not because they are somebody’s mother or daughter or anyone. Women should be respected because they are human beings. In this civilized post modern society, why is it so hard to extend common courtesy like not wolf-whistle at a woman or badger her with a “Chicks oh,” “Hi, sexy,” “Ay, kalami,”? Why can’t a woman walk down the street, mind her own business and not feel threatened?
“Ganyan talaga mga lalake. Hayaan mo na.”
Ah, that statement will always be one of my favorites, almost as much as I like poking needles through my eyeballs. Boys will be boys, right? It is actually insulting to expect men to be nothing more than unthinking, uncivilized beasts who are so ruled by their guttural instincts that they aren’t capable of forming rational and moral decisions. My lola drilled into me over and over how I should just let the guys be, lower my head and walk away like the little good, girl that I am. I must admit, it took me a while to see how backwards this “lesson” truly is.
Why should we continue to portray that it is the girl’s fault if she had gained unwanted attention? Why can’t we teach boys how to be decent human beings? After all, respect is a common courtesy and it does not, should not, only be exclusive to a particular gender. If a dog can be potty trained, why can’t boys be taught not to see women as objects made solely for their pleasure?
“Wag ka kasi magsusuot ng sexy. Yan tuloy, nababastos ka.”
And here we go again. The classic victim blaming, as classic as the spaghetti you order in your favorite fast food place. This is one thing that should be taught to all of us: shorts, jeans, tank tops, t-shirts and or any pieces of clothing are not enough reason to harass anyone.
Hell, there’s absolutely no reason on Earth that can justify catcalling.
It’s a myth that further spreads rape culture like a plague that when a girl dresses skimpily, she will deserve what she got. To which I say, a very big hell no. Not all men catcall but all women, dressed in what may be categorized as conservatively, casually or skimpily, have all been harassed at some point in their lives. It’s not an issue of clothes but rather of respect. It is her own body, not yours to judge, harass or leer at. Clothes have absolutely nothing to do with catcalling if the sense of entitlement over another person continues to persist.
Catcalling is a whole universe away from compliment. Being and feeling safe out in the streets is a basic human right, not a privilege exclusive to a particular sex. We are not and should not be entitled to anyone’s body but our own. (Viel Elysse Cansino, UP-Min interns)