In Loving Memory

Death is inevitable. All of us will die eventually, we just do not know when.

Every day, we would hear news that someone we know has died or we read the news that there was an accident or a massacre. It is painful. Losing someone is heartbreaking.

Grieving takes time. There is no expiry date. It is all right to express the sadness and other emotions surrounding death.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler, authors on Grief and Grieving, states:

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you’ll learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”

Many of us are preparing for All Souls’ Day next week. It is the time to remember our beloved dead family members, relatives, and friends. Remembering loved ones on this occasion and on their death anniversaries is part of our grieving process. The first year usually is the most painful. Not all have the same experience in grieving. As stated by Ms. Kubler-Ross and Mr. David Kessler, we will heal and eventually learn to live with it.

I love our Filipino tradition that we gather very November 1 or 2 in the cemetery to visit our loved ones. This  tradition, passed from the older generation to the young ones, is truly a legacy. Until today, my family still follows this tradition.

I affirm how we honor our beloved dead (may it be during their death anniversaries or All Souls’ Day):

·       Bringing flowers and candles to their gravesites. Some even bring food and have a picnic. We also offer our prayers there. Sometimes priests and pastors also come to pray and bless the graves and the families present.

·       Submitting their names to our church to celebrate Holy Mass for them (usually, our priests would remind us to submit their names a week or two before November)

It would also be meaningful to write a letter to them, sing or listen to their favorite songs, yes, share their photos and reminisce about special moments with them. If we are at their gravesite as family or group, we can share memorable moments with them.

Some others would volunteer in a seminary or orphanage that they (your loved one) cherished or donate to their cause.

November 1 is All Saints’ Day, it would nice if Roman Catholic parents would share to their children about the Saints and how they lived. It will remind us that that these Saints were people too, and how much they loved God and Jesus Christ and His Mother, Mary. It may inspire them to live like a Saint. Children can wear a costume of a Saint, too, during Halloween, and not dressed as demons.

Let us pray for a peaceful “Pista Minatay.”*