LOVERS who plan to get married should first indulge themselves in counseling before deciding to tie the knot, as getting married is a serious decision to be made by two individuals of the opposite sex.
They should be given time to undergo the process of knowing each other better and clearer even to the point of deciphering the depth of their love for each other because there is no more turning back when the marriage is consummated leading to the very purpose of it, which is the procreation.
There are many challenges that the couple expects to face before and after the marriage, as most of the time, the true and real personality and character of an individual are discovered when he or she is already performing his or her duties and responsibilities towards his or her family.
Rev. Fr. Joemar Solano, a priest who was instrumental in establishing the Payag ni Padri Pio in Barangay Alangilan, Bacolod City, serves as one of the marriage counselors of couples who are already engaged. He organized the so-called "Discovery Weekend," a program that is designed to assist engaged couples who plan to get married.
The facilitators were also married couples who share their real-life experiences in dealing with the challenges of marriage. They shared to the future couples a glimpse of what they need to prepare for many circumstances that they have to withstand as a couple.
It is an opportunity for them to discover and rediscover the love they have for each other that can help strengthen their love and commitment towards the realization of the success of their union. It is a process of purifying their real intention of entering the married life, Fr. Solano said.
This is something to do with discovering the character of a person or his or her personality to help them determine whether they are compatible to live together for good and bad times.
There were a lot of marriages that were broken due to the couple's failure to communicate well in times of difficulties. They failed to put up communication lines that can very well lead them to the solution.
Dialogue or communication is vital to couples who are facing difficult or irreconcilable conditions but given the proper knowledge of how to deal with it might be of great help, he said.
The future couples were allowed to share what were their actions and responses when they faced difficult situations.
This way, this program helped them determine the ways to handle difficult situations without ruining their marriage.
He added that God has elevated the union of two individuals into a sacrament where His grace can enter into the lives of the couples. Marriage under the perspective of the Church is a lifetime partnership and commitment of two individuals.
With this, the relationship of two individuals is not just only for themselves but it involves God which makes their union divinely wrapped by a real "Love Triangle." God should be at the center of the union so that couples can withstand any intense or serious challenge of marriage.
If there is lacking in that equation, then there might be instances that marriage cannot overcome its very nature.
God established this marriage to fulfill His purpose of procreation wherein the human species can proliferate which also includes the proper upbringing of the children.
Marriage was not made by man but by God.
Marriage does not only involve challenges of being pained but also an obligation towards raising the family.
There were many instances that when marriages are struck by the said challenges, either the man or the woman gives up.
As part of the Church court or the Tribunal, which handles annulment cases, most of the reasons stated by couples were they don't have love from the very beginning and they don't have the desire to work out the relationship.
Yes, some circumstances led them to get married but in the absence of sincere and true love, the relationship will still not last.
And why suffer for a decade or more if they are just fooling each other? He asked.
But despite the pain and all its complexities, there is still joy when you commit yourself to the one you love, thus the Church is guiding couples who plan to get married to equip themselves to deal with the intricacies of marriage. But when God and love bind the two individuals, then their union can withstand trials in all its force and forms.