What's your New Year's resolution? A question people would often ask you before the year ends. I want to be more focused next year, I want to gain or lose weight, or less shopping and saving money are the most common resolutions so far.
But why do we like to make such promises to ourselves? Is it to please other people or to simply fit in the norms? I've bumped into people before, and I noticed they only make this yearlong commitment because other people said so or because it's the latest trend.
This happened to me two years ago. I've tried and I didn't like the experience. I've learned that trying to be anything less than my authentic self is way too much work and is bound to fail, sooner or later. Not being authentic is deceptive to the other person involved, as well.
I was lying to myself and continued to lose my sense of self-identity. I wanted to change due to the demands of the current fads and peer pressure. I ended up becoming a robot of the system.
One factor was I wanted to change myself because for some reason I was in love. This person shared with me the typical "The One." I was fooling myself begging for love.
I learned that you should not change for someone else. This is so cliche of me to say considering I have changed for many people. Don’t do it because you will lose yourself. You will get caught up in a whole other personality that is not yours.
The only reason to change your life is for you. Do it because you want to do it, not because you think it will make someone else love or accept you. Cognitive dissonance is the enemy in life and living one way while thinking another will blow up on you eventually.
I read an article by John Hughes about "How to Change Yourself for the Better," I learned that change is almost always scary and sometimes easy. The more crucial that change is, the harder it can be to take the first step and stick to the course.
In any case, figuring out how to improve yourself is a significant ability to develop for progress, both in your own life and in business.
So, I believe instead of swearing “new year, new me,” just promise "new year, a better me."*
Radi Raze P. Garaygay is a 21-year-old BA Communication student at the University of Negros Occidental-Recoletos, who is also the Sangguniang Kabataan (SK) chairperson of Barangay 15-West Caticlan, Victorias City.