It has been tough to start the year with a heavy heart. Slowly, I have come to realize that what I do for myself is never enough.
I was quite put into a thought bubble if I ever become as excellent as I aspire to be. I am months away from graduation, shifting from pens and papers to life responsibilities.
Before I binge on some paperwork, I always reflect on if I’m doing my best, like how most people thought I was.
Recently, I kept looking for clues and answers. I did not sign up to deal with much drama. However, whether I like it or not, being a slave to a system that has overgrown our rationality, I have to do but will never enjoy it.
Honestly, it challenged as to what extent I am capable as a person — when you deal both with people and responsibility at the same time. Are we losing our humanity? I feel like the world is turning into a wheel powered by artificial intelligence.
We forgot how to feel. We have constantly disregarded human emotion. There is no more boundary between real and fiction. It is hard to force myself. It seemed that the system had been beating me up day and night. It was never my choice.
But what I feel lucky the most as of the moment, is that I can still feel human. I hope others see that competence should be in more than one area. Excellence inside the classroom may not justify the totality of your person. It is just a percentage of a whole.
I am really disappointed with how this world turned out. Moreover, I am afraid of what future generations will see. Will they be able to overcome the system? Or is it another cycle of generational traumas? I do not see much now, but I know I will find my place and people soon will start to feel human again.
We fed our egos and got attached to positions and powers. What more can greed bring us? As we continue to resist the system, hope still lies, and a legacy remains.
I pray that in the end, we realize one thing. The world will never be enough when we continue to dream of making another one. We are creating a new civilization, but we have forgotten a generation of people having a hard time coping.*
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Kit Martin A. De Paula is a graduating BA Communication student from the University of Negros Occidental–Recoletos. He is also a writer, a freelance host, and a student leader.