Fernando: I do
IN MARRIAGE you never know what’s coming. It is diving into the unknown. You will never know what happens until you get there. Preparations is a big help but things get completely different when you’re actually there.
Most couples break up because they think they want to change their partners’ attitude and realize they could not. Some couples end up in marriage in hope that their partners change.
It is a myth to think that once married, a person changes for the better.
Marriage transforms some people but this does not apply to all. People do not normally change. It is the acceptance of the partner that endures. If one thinks that a drunk boyfriend changes once he says the married vow, better think again. Others believe that when the same person becomes a father or in case of a woman, a mother, they become better husband or wife. Think again.
Marriage is a big decision so a person who tries to choose this vocation must think ten times. While it takes courage to propose, it must be tougher to say yes or no. Just don’t be carried away. Then avoid thinking that everything will be fine and fixed once the marriage takes place.
This is like of betting on a game of chance you have no idea how it is played. In the country divorce is not an option. This makes marriage more complicated. There is no way out. Once you’re in, you’re in. If you want out, you are still in. If you found a way out, you might have done something illegal except for annulment cases and the like.
It’s only true love that can make marriage “a bucket full of roses” experience. If you love your partner and you think and feel it is because of love then set the wedding day. If you love your partner but you feel the feeling is not mutual, erase the wedding schedule. If you have a different ideas of love, postpone the wedding.
Partners will end feeling disappointed when they set expectations to their partners without talking about it. If the guy remained a drunkard and the woman a “machine gun,” that’s when the fights start. It will continue. It will go on and on. It will hurt both. Badly. Do you remember an officemate reporting to the office with large eye bugs? She cried and cried last night. Or there are bruises and nail claw marks on the arms or neck (the back is a different case). There was surely a world war the other day or night.
If you think you know your partner after several years of being together, well, think again. There will be numerous times when you get to ask yourself if he/she is the person you’ve known before. Married life will look like a book of revelation. You’ll know most things about her/him.
The way he sleeps. You’ll notice everything. Even the way he/she brushes her teeth. The way he/she looks like when sleeping, if he snores or sleep walk. Her choice of words, the things he does in his/her free times.
And you will not like several of those. Oh you will find yourself plenty of times asking if marriage is really for you. If your mind won’t quickly think of an inspiration you will get depressed. And every ones’ life around would be affected if you can’t fix yourself quick.
Just marry for love, nothing more. Everything will be easy. Beautiful and splendid. Love wipes away those disappointments and heartbreaks, headaches, stress, grief, and all the negative energy you’ll expectedly picked up along your life’s journey. If you marry because of love the sail will be smooth no matter how wild the tides are and how strong the currents is. If it’s for the expectation that your partner changes you will surely drown yourself in the seashore.
I may have written many negative things about married life here in my article but the thing is married life is still the most amazing experience one can ever have. This space will not be enough if I decided to write the positive things about marriage.
Marriage is a gift from God. It was given to human beings as an expression of love. God likened his love to the love between couples. I have only list down some things to ponder for people who think they are for married life.
Married life is a wonderful experience. It teaches the heart to love and care. However, there is a dark side of it. It is keeping the love between the couples. It is even more difficult when there was no love at all and still the marriage took place. If marriage happened for the right reasons, there will be children who will grow up gentle and happy.