WHEN the house has been cleaned, the children are ready for bed, and the only thing left to do is to put on our own pajamas, it is easy to say yes to crazy friends that suddenly text, “Hey, get ready, we are going out.” There’s just something about gathering with mommy pals that somehow bring back the youth in us. So, tara, let’s go.
This is exactly how I feel about my cool, crazy zumba friends. Since we all share the same passion for dance, it has been easy for us to connect with each other in a more meaningful way, in spite of coming from different backgrounds and having varying personalities. We somehow blend beautifully like different notes that harmoniously come together to make good music and wonderful melody.
Last Friday, 5 of our dear friends hosted Scorpio Nights at Chimmy’s Chicken and Beer restobar Uptown. All of us mommies literally rocked the house down! Happy birthday Weena Adelante, Joy Co, Kimberly Roa, Angela Aquino, Ching Bitaizar. All of them are born under the zodiac sign Scorpio; hence, the event name.
I was neck-deep in mommy duties that day, but since two of my best friends are part of the fab5 celebrants, I had to keep my promise and drop by even for a short while. The time for unli-booze, chicken, dance, and laughter with my zumba mommies, though brief (on my part), was a welcome breather. Aireen Lee Lagrito did a good job setting up the party. There’s just something about girl power that makes us forget about our worries and gripes against the world.
With terms like mom jeans, mom mobile, mom bod, soccer moms, etc; society seems to expect that a mom’s perception of herself and sense of style spontaneously combust the moment she bears children. A lot of people think that when we women become mothers, our glitz and glamour clocks have ticked their last tock. Hello, loshang.
Watchful eyes dictate that the moment we give birth, we should always be tied to our human “ball-and-chain” (aka, our kids) until it is time to set them free. If we dare to stray from what is expected and go out to chill like we used to, there’s this term called “bad mom” slapped at our faces. And you know when that term stings the most, when it comes from another judgmental, righteous mother who thinks that her way of child-rearing is the only way it’s done. Duh.
[For the record, there is no perfect way. If you’re not abusing, neglecting, or hurting your children, then by all means, do what you believe is necessary for yourself and your family to thrive. Each child is different, just as each family’s situation varies, so you gotta do what feels right for you and your entire brood. As long as what you’re doing stems from a place of love, then, dab on the haters!]
Sure, we moms also get tired from taking care of everyone and everything—driver, tutor, chef, human pacifier, the list goes on. We have a lot of crap to deal with, literally and sometimes figuratively (hi, loaded diapers). Sometimes, our concept of letting loose and putting our hair down so to speak is a quiet hot bath and a good book. On most days, a soothing cup of cocoa or a glass of wine when the kids are in bed is about as hardcore as we can get. Does this mean our time is up and our party days are over?
Absolutely not.
When I think about it, since we became moms, our lives have become an infinite cycle of wiping butts, wiping snot, wiping tears...we have been ignored, sassed, whined, and wailed at by our own children, sometimes to the point where we think—“I need a drink!” And of course, since we’ve been trained by all of our newborns, no one can pull an all-nighter like we can. Who says we are boring old farts that don’t know how to come out and party ‘til the crack of dawn? Of course we still can. We just choose our “laags” or “lakads” well.
There’s no need to crucify moms and guilt them into feeling bad for going out and having a great time. We deserve it! Me-time is essential for sanity and peace of mind. We can’t love our children well if we are stressed, depleted, and harassed. This is a message I will never get tired of repeating because my only daughter is watching, and she, too, will possibly one day become a mom. It is never selfish to make yourself a priority, too. No one can pour from an empty cup! So cheers, fellow momma. Make time for YOU.
Happy birthday to my beloved, Scorpio zumba sisters, who know how to have a good time...and at the same time, they remain devoted mothers that balance their responsibilities well. You all rock!