While social media postings on Valentine’s Day were flooded with flowers, hearts and declarations of forever, the Department of Health (DOH) posted something unexpected on Facebook: a warning to watch out for signs of toxic behavior indicating unhealthy relationships.
The DOH advisory felt like a dose of cold medicine amid the most romantically charged day of the year. It is a timely nudge to shift the focus from searching for “the one” to “choosing yourself.”
This brings to mind Whitney Houston’s iconic line “Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all.” Decades after its release, the song’s message remains relevant to many: self-love is the foundation of a healthy love.
Pop culture continues to reflect this theme. Taylor Swift’s “Opalite” echoes a similar message: to make an active effort to create your own happiness. As she sings “You had to make your own sunshine. But now the sky is Opalite.” Swift inspires self-ownership, self-transformation, self-love, guiding towards positive relationships. These songs might just be some of the perfect self-love anthems, whether one is single, cautiously navigating a situationship, or in a relationship.
Trending on social media are aesthetically pleasing self-love posts, from solo dates and travels to glow up makeovers and outings that look impressive on Facebook or Instagram. However, mental health experts say that self-love is more about emotional skills and strength rather than indulgence.
According to psychologist Kristen Neff Ph.D., self-love involves self-compassion — treating yourself with kindness specially during challenging times.
“Self-compassion is about extending the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others,” wrote the psychologist in an article on self-compassion. She further said, individuals who practice self-compassion are more emotionally resilient, have better coping skills and have lower levels of anxiety and depression.
Loving oneself also means intentionally infusing joy into our lives. Engaging in fun activities help destress and improve well being. Hit the gym or play a preferred sport. Get fit with Pilates, weight training, swimming or pickleball. As explained by the American Psychological Association, persistent stress negatively impacts sleep, mood and one’s immune system. But in moments of intense stress, one should not hesitate to seek support from a mental health professional.
The journey to self-love is a commitment to oneself. This love is not selfish; rather, it is necessary. But the challenge is learning to consistently show up for one’s own well being. So whether someone decides to plunge into new adventures like free diving or simply unwind with a favorite playlist, novel or movie, remember this: the greatest love story of all starts within.