M: There is no forever, many say. But there are second chances or even a third, fourth chance at love. Dess had a relationship with Adam who was then her officemate. He was in another relationship, and Dess was the third party. Adam eventually left Dess without closure. Months later, Dan broke up with his girlfriend. He remains single. Call her crazy but Dess says she still loves him. And she’s asking what she should do? First, is not to do anything drastic calling him and trying to get back with him just because he is single. If he does get back with her, it might be a case of rebound love.
DJ: I was in a similar situation before. I remember staring into space as I wandered around Chicago airport not realizing that Side A’s “Tell Me” has been looping on my playlist for around two hours straight. When we think we’ve been done wrong, it’s natural for us to seek for a resolution. It is common for people to want to know why it happened. In my case, I was hoping for at least an apology. Well, I got hate mail instead. Why do people do that? It took me a year to eventually accept that it’s beyond me. Yes, something crappy happened but you can’t give away your right to live just because someone who did you wrong refuses to acknowledge it.
M: I do not think Adam would want to open another chapter with Dess when he did not even close their previous relationship and just left her. Things happen for a reason. And it is not wise to assume that just because her ex-boyfriend is now unattached and available, he is looking to get into another relationship.
DJ: Knowing why Adam left or why he is still single is no longer as important as Dess making every effort to let go and move on with her life. For her to finally release herself from such situation, I suggest that she talk it out with a neutral friend. Understanding and pursuing what makes her “her” is a step closer to becoming a better version of herself.
M: Dess, don’t stress yourself with getting back with Adam just yet. You love him? Maybe. But maybe your love is not enough to sustain a relationship with him. If you are not yet friends since there was no closure, it might be better if you process your own closure about your relationship with him and maybe, you can move forward and have a better grasp of what you really feel for him.
DJ: If a person is playing a “no closure” game on you, it is best to decide not to join in. I understand the healing process takes time and it’s different for everyone. But ultimately, closure will have to come from within. This Christmas, I pray for the grace for Dess to finally be able to come up with her own conclusion, let go and move forward. I’m sure she has a lot more awesome years ahead of her and a lot of great people around her to hope for and to live for.