@PIA GREY: I’m a local beauty queen. That suggests that physical appearance is my forte, right? But wait, there’s more. I’m smart, too. Consistent honor student from start to finish. I’m in a relationship with someone plain-looking. To be more candid, borderline ugly. Please don’t judge me. Never mentioned this to anyone. My concerns revolve around the potential implications for our future offspring if we were to marry. You’re a safe space so I am opening this up to you. Besides, you aren’t good looking too but I like you. You can relate with the question. There must be some tricks that can be done to make someone attractive in spite of the lack of facial symmetry?
DJ: Thanks for pointing out that I ain’t good looking but for liking me still. What an honor! Seriously, biases are a thing we want to manage. Things get dicey if someone assumes a person is not interesting or worth talking to because of how they look. Still, I’ll answer your question. I honor your courage to speak what truly is in your mind. No judgement. But first things first—why did you fall in love with your boyfriend? I heard every woman’s dream is that a guy will take her into his arms, throw her into bed, and clean the whole house while she sleeps. Seriously, there must be something greater than what meets the eye.
Okay, first impressions hold a significant sway in a visually oriented world. I recently came across an article recounting an intriguing experiment conducted by the television show “Dateline” on NBC. In this experiment, hidden cameras were strategically placed to observe the interactions of two couples: One consisted of individuals who could be described as average-looking, all of whom were affiliated with NBC, and the other consisting of models, individuals typically regarded as conventionally attractive. The striking revelation captured on camera was that the attractive male and female received assistance more readily from passersby. Conversely, the less conventionally attractive female received some assistance, albeit less promptly, while the less attractive male was largely left to navigate the situation on his own. This experiment underscores the profound impact of physical appearance on the way we are initially perceived and treated by others. The “halo effect,” a psychological concept, has strong ties to first impressions, to good looks.
However, I am well aware of what my strengths and weaknesses are. And so, if I were not blessed with a chiseled jawline that’s often associated with an attractive masculine face, I also know my brains and comm skills can propel me far. So, I focused more on what sets me apart rather than fixating on the reality that when the universe asked folks to drink from the fountain of looks, I was only allowed to gargle. It’s not fair. But it is what it is. I delved into books which allowed me to have a unique point of view at work and in life. Another way to stand out. Besides, there are various aspects of one’s appearance that can be improved by working out, eating healthy and grooming. Think about the reasons why you fell in love with your boyfriend in the first place. He used his strength to bring value to others. And if you both end up together and raise a family, you can instill this mindset to your kids. We just have to learn to make the most of the hand we’ve been dealt. Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos do not necessarily fall under the most handsome title. But they honed their talents to break the attractive mold and move beyond society’s expectations. And there are numerous instances where the world embraced the intelligent, purpose-driven, kind and wise. Success and failure, ultimately, are determined by our attitude rather than someone’s waist to shoulder ratio.
As I age, I realize that good looks are just an added bonus. And if substance exists beneath the skin, it won’t be long before it gets discovered and appreciated. So don’t fret too much whether your future kids are going to be visual beasts. Just raise them right and they will earn admiration everywhere they go.