Michelle: Danny is on his eighth blind date. He’s just polite to friends who set him up. It isn’t working for him. How can he finally say no to his friends without offending them?
DJ: From what I know, blind dates happen when two people have no clue about each other except their names and a few other details. These are rare these days with social media. They’re typically vetted with the profile photo as the usual first stop. People already scout each other online before even meeting for the first time. There is no harm if Danny’s friends know him enough. Chances are, they have an idea who is a good match for him. It’s like outsourcing the task of looking for a potential partner. However, if he’s the quiet type, this will most likely not work for him. Having a good sense of humor and being easy going help sustain an unrestrained atmosphere throughout the whole ordeal.
M: A blind date can be exciting. It can also be a cause for anxiety. It’s going into something with your eyes wide open but half scared of what you’ll see and find out. Either way, it takes effort. And when you’ve been at it for several times and its not working, it’s just too tiring to take another chance. To avoid the pressure of meeting new people, make it a group activity instead. Many can split the bill and if you don’t connect with the other person, you can split and not feel bad about leaving ahead.
DJ: Going out as a group helps. Contrary to popular belief, men are much more hesitant with blind dates than women unless, of course, if the intent is just to scratch an itch. There is unfortunately some form of desperation attached to it. Perhaps, it’s because that’s what friends often do to get someone back into the dating scene for whatever reason they have. Sparks might fly and it can lead to something. But for guys who are serious about commitment, it’s better to keep things spontaneous. Unless, if they’re the one asking for a set-up. Sometimes, meeting a complete stranger just because he or she is breathing and alive is not very attractive. Thus, the role and the motivation of the matchmaker are crucial.
M: I have gone to a blind date once and it was one of the most awkward moments in my entire life. Then I was introduced to a guy but did not meet him until after a few months of communicating through calls and text. Then we met. The date wasn’t a blind one coz we knew each other even if it was our first time to meet each other personally. A year later, we got married! So maybe a blind date works for some. Just be honest with your friends.
DJ: Yeah. Honestly is still the best policy. If going out on blind dates, ultimately, is not Danny’s thing, he can always politely say no. He can offer an explanation if he thinks he needs to. However, he should not feel compelled to do so. Friends will try to help but it’s still him who decides. Because the relationship is solid, he can be certain it can withstand his saying “no.”