KINGSTON Ralph Ko Cheng died a senseless death. Do I demand justice for Kingston? Yes. But I think we can do more. More than calling for harsher punitive actions against drunk drivers. More than proposing better infrastructure and legislation to ensure public safety. More than establishing a driver service to take drunk people home, safely.
We can do something more—something less loud but no less important. We can reflect on how and why this happened because only then can we prevent it from happening again.
Why do young people drink in excess? Perhaps, at the outset, they drink to experiment, to enjoy, to escape pain or to fit in. But not all who drink know when and how to stop and that’s when the trouble begins.
When your drinking impairs your judgement and you become physically violent, verbally abusive and incoherent, the fun turns into tragedy because at this point, you can no longer see yourself.
All of us (when we are sober) understand it is not okay to drink and drive. At the point of inebriation, however, your judgement is so impaired, you no longer know what you’re doing. Because if you knew better, you would never get behind the wheel knowing you could kill another human being.
But not everyone who drinks, drinks to the point of stupor. So, let me ask those who drink but don’t count themselves in the same depraved mold as the perpetrator, Sean Andrew Pajarillo, do you try to stop your friends from getting another drink when you see them becoming inebriated? Do you stop your drunk friends from driving?
Because why wouldn’t you stop a friend from getting behind the wheel of a vehicle when he can’t even walk out of the bar on his own? Aren’t friends supposed to look out for each other?
Is it so uncool to step in and try to save lives? Or are you all so drunk that everyone’s judgement is impaired? Are you all so desensitized to drinking that you never think of the risks of drunk driving because getting wasted is the norm?
So many snaps and reels of drunkenness on social media. You find them amusing rather than alarming. Just another fun night. And that is the bigger tragedy. Drinking to the point of drunkenness is the norm.
All this grief, rage and condemnation must also be accompanied by self-reflection.
It could have been you instead of Kingston. But it could also have been you instead of Sean.
Have you never driven home, drunk? Have you never been so wasted to have been capable of running someone down and killing them?
Why have you normalized alcohol and party drugs to the point of labeling those who don’t partake of them, uncool and boring? When did it become socially unacceptable not to drink and take drugs?
Can you not go out and have a good time without drinking? Can you not assign a designated driver who stays dry on a night out to drive everyone home? Can no one who drinks find the strength not to drink in the presence of alcohol, anymore?
We ask justice for Kingston. But no matter what we do with Sean, we can’t bring Kingston back. What do you think Kingston would have wanted? I didn’t know him but I think Kingston would have wanted something good to come out of the tragedy that took his life.
So, let’s demand accountability not just from those who have harmed or killed due to drunk driving, not just from those who sell or serve alcohol, but from all who drink and even when they don’t drink and drive.
Let’s wake up to the realization that the things we do routinely can kill and bring untold grief to many.
If we succeed, we will have honored Kingston’s life and perhaps, made some sense of his untimely demise.