The misogynists belabor their point. I might, as well. Because they still live and breed among us.
They peddle locker room talk like it’s normal. Well, it’s not. Boys will be boys is the mantra they chant. It’s a tragedy so many men had to be raised in this type of toxic environment.
Not every man is comfortable with this kind of talk. But few will speak up. Few will object. Even fewer will walk away. Most will join in the crass contest regardless of what they think. Their masculinity is on the line. If they don’t participate in the debauchery, they would seem to have failed the test.
When men and women were asked what their greatest fears were, their answers were vastly different. Women’s greatest fear was to be assaulted. Men’s greatest fear was to be humiliated.
This is why few men will go against the misogynistic mob. They’d rather be compliant than humiliated.
Groupthink is more virulent than you think.
Many men stayed silent during the Suntay incident. But a few opined that Suntay’s statements were inappropriate in a House hearing as they should have been confined to the locker room.
I disagree.
The objectification of women is unacceptable in any setting. Why must we distinguish between locker room talk and public conversations or even manifestations in a House hearing?
What we say in public is who we want to be but what we say in private is who we really are.
Our public personas are carefully curated, showing only sanitized versions of ourselves. It is only in private when our authentic selves show how brutally frank rather than dazzlingly performative, we can be.
This is why leaked emails and hot mics make hot topics.
And this is why it is truly next-level misogyny when men proudly declare that their sexual harassment towards women is justified when women wear little and show a lot.
When you see someone’s bag open, is it justified for you to put your hand in and steal their wallet? When you walk past a house with the front door open, is it justified for you to walk in and take what you fancy?
When you see a woman in a low-cut dress, is it justified for you to attack her because she ignited your lecherous fantasies?
The open bag. The open door. The open neckline. They were asking for it. They had it coming to them. This line of defense is conveniently used by perpetrators to avoid accountability for their actions.
If you found a bag full of cash on a bus, is it yours to keep? If you saw an unsealed envelope addressed to someone else, is it yours to open? If you saw a private video on someone’s phone, is it yours to share and publish?
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. And those who think they should, are clearly stuck in a state of infantility, their level of reasoning and judgment never having matured.
Is it justifiable to rob a blind man of his money because he can’t see it coming? Or to shove an old man because he can’t fight back? Or to make fun of a mentally ill person because they don’t know any better?
Is it justifiable to attack a woman wearing skimpy clothes, running alone in the dark?
Human beings leap to protect the vulnerable. Predators lie in wait and attack the vulnerable. Some start as misogynists and end up as predators. It starts with locker room but it can morph into a culture of entitlement that can end in sexual assault.
For as long as I live, I will fight to put misogynists out to pasture. Because predators are not born, they are made — by a society plagued by misogyny.