April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
There is a prevailing myth that women are sexually assaulted because of what they wear.
“What Were You Wearing?” is an exhibit held annually, usually during Sexual Assault Awareness Month, in many parts of the world. Named after the question often asked of survivors of sexual violence, it showcases clothing that survivors of sexual assault were wearing when they were attacked.
The actual clothing and in some cases, their re-creations, are accompanied by survivor stories.
This international survivor art installation aims to dispel long-held beliefs that perpetuate the victim-blaming myth that what you wear is what causes you to get sexually assaulted. The reality is that clothing is irrelevant in the crime of sexual assault.
Offenders commit crimes independent of the victim’s conduct or clothing.
Yet, what women wear has always been what men have perennially tried to control. Women have often been accused of inviting sexual assault or harassment due to their clothing or lack of it. But men worship and perpetuate these long-held beliefs simply to escape accountability for their actions.
Men seem to be saying that our very existence is the root of their misbehavior. They err because we exist. It’s simply next-level victim-blaming. It’s never their fault. It’s always ours. They imply they have no control over themselves.
Perhaps, men want to control what we wear because they do not want to control themselves. Perhaps, men want to restrict us because they do not want to restrain themselves. Whatever the case may be, it is not a woman’s fault for simply existing and wearing what she wants.
Is it not comical if not contemptible that women must blend with the blinds to escape sexual harassment or assault? Why must hemlines drop, necklines rise and, in some cases, only eyes peek out, simply for women to stay free from harm?
And why must we accept these terms?
Whether you dress like a nun or a pole dancer, it is a man’s choice and theirs alone, to see you as a human being or as a sex object. Their sense of entitlement and their choice to act with impunity has nothing to do with what we wear or don’t wear.
Girls have been raised since childhood to be careful, boys to be in control. Do you not see what is wrong here? Girls are raised to be prey, boys to be predators. It is tragic.
Why else are girls warned to cover up? It’s only for our protection, they say. But women don’t need protection if no one is bent on harming them. Perhaps, it is not the women who should be told off.
Why aren’t boys being raised to see girls as human beings so that however they are dressed or undressed, their bodies are not reduced to objects for self-gratification.
We are not the problem here.
Instead of chastising women for showing skin, why not castigate men for seeking excuses to harm women when they bare their legs, go out at night, walk alone and laugh out loud?
Do you know how many times I have read female runners share tips on how to be safe while running on the road? From always having your phone in your hand to carrying a whistle or a bladed weapon, it just sounds so sad and tragic how men can be so villainous and women so vulnerable.
Women should not need to be invisible to feel safe. Women should be able to wear what they want without fear of being harmed because women have the right to wear what they want to be comfortable, to look good and to feel great. And that is not a crime.
We are not the criminals.
And it’s not what you’re wearing.