It’s easier to render swift judgement after hearing only bits of the story than to take the time to know the entire story, listen with patience, sit in reflection and pray for discernment before passing judgement.
It’s easier to give in to emotions than to hold back. That’s how we get scammed—because we give in to fear, to greed, to temptation. That’s how we get things wrong—because we want to be quick rather than accurate. That’s how we fall for the lie—because we are so desperate to be liked and so consumed about being right.
A friend once ranted on social media about what an “idiot” someone was at the mall for taking two parking slots. He completed his rant with a photo of the idiot’s vehicle, but thankfully blurring out the license plates.
I had to call him out. Privately, of course. I told him about the time I was also swiftly given a similar verdict. It didn’t feel good. It felt slightly terrifying, in fact.
I was returning to my car in the parking lot, one time, when from afar, I spotted a Post-it conspicuously stuck to my windshield. I wondered what it was about. But I knew it couldn’t be anything good. As I walked closer, I then saw scrawled on the little, yellow slip of paper, a single word: JERK.
I remember looking around me, nervously. Obviously, I didn’t know when it had been put there. And I didn’t know what it was about. I was wondering if someone was watching me. But I later realized that I had, perhaps, simply seen too many crime and suspense movies.
I was confused at first, but I soon realized that it must have been because the tires of my car had intruded into the next parking spot. That, I believe, must have been the reason for the offending Post-It.
Well, here’s the backstory.
When I parked my car, I knew I had intruded into the next parking spot and that now, I was effectively taking two parking spots. But what the person who called me a “jerk” didn’t know was that I was “forced” to park this way because the vehicle parked next to me was already improperly parked.
But after the first improperly parked vehicle left the parking lot, guess who was automatically judged the jerk in the parking lot? Obviously, the driver of the second improperly parked vehicle: me.
But how would you know that I had been “forced” to park this way due to the first offending vehicle? Unless you were there when I parked my car, you wouldn’t know. And that is why we should not judge a situation so hastily and so harshly without knowing the full story.
Wow. My friend immediately changed perspective. He thanked me for making me see that there was another way to describe this situation rather than idiotic. And he assured me that it wasn’t he who had put the Post-It in my car.
But I am not without guilt. I, too, have judged too hastily and too harshly without knowing the backstory or the full story. I, too, have reacted much too quickly in so many instances without full knowledge of the facts which is why I know how easily one can be wrong.
The next time you call someone a “jerk,” an “idiot,” or some other label that spells vile and unworthy, take the time to think about what could possibly be the backstory.
I’ve learned my lesson. Have you?
Matthew 7:1 says, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”