A “MISGENDERING” incident made rounds on social media after a customer, a member of the LGBTQ community, made a male restaurant wait staff adopt a “parade rest” stance for almost two hours for addressing him as “sir.”
The customer was identified by a netizen as the local Cebu personality Jude Bacalso, a writer, former TV personality and host in Cebu.
Bacalso addressed the issue in a separate Facebook post on Monday, July 22, 2024 and said that what transpired with the wait staff was “a matter to be settled between us, and we were. Quietly. Until that hate-mongering post.”
The incident, captured on camera, drew diverse reactions among Cebuanos online, with the Facebook post narrating a side of the incident garnering over 60,000 reactions, 19,800 comments, and over 53,000 shares. Most of the comments criticized Bacalso’s action.
A Facebook user named John Calderon shared photos of the incident, saying it occurred around 6 p.m. on Sunday, July 21.
“My memory was so clear kay nanuroy me sa akong mommy (because we went for a stroll) since 4 p.m. sa (in) Ayala Center Cebu. Then, ninaog na mi sa elevator near Leylam (then we got off the elevator near Leylam) then we saw this employee doing parade rest since 6 p.m.,” reads a portion of the caption of Calderon’s post.
According to Merriam-Webster, a parade rest is a formal position assumed by a soldier in ranks in which he remains silent and motionless.
However, Calderon said he felt uncomfortable after seeing the wait staff in the same position after almost two hours.
He said he interfered and asked Bacalso what happened.
“The guy Jude sarcastically said na (that) ‘go ask him (referring to the server) what happened.’ Then I asked the server unsay nahitabo and ingon siya ‘natawag nako siyag sir’ (Then I asked the server what happened and he said I called him sir),” Calderon said.
Bacalso’s side
Bacalso, in a now-deleted Facebook post, said “What transpired between me and the staff at a restaurant was a series of errors.”
“Yes. I was addressed as sir. No. I did not scream (at) or shout at the wait staff who did,” she said.
“My students call me sir and my nephews and nieces call me uncle, so it is no skin off of my nose and it is funny to me that transphobes seem to think I am anguished by it,” said Bacalso, noting being misgendered is not new.
However, Bacalso stressed that “if it is an honest mistake, I take that as an opportunity to educate.”
Bacalso, who claimed to be close with the owners of the restaurant, one of whom is a transwoman, chose to inform the owners about the incident rather than take it to court.
“The supervisor was there when I discussed with the erring staff that perhaps a gender sensitivity seminar would benefit them. The supervisor acknowledged that this incident was a wake-up call to them and that they would welcome that opportunity,” said Bacalso.
Restaurant’s side
Meanwhile, the management of Ulli’s Streets of Asia, the employer of the wait staff involved, immediately published an official statement on the dawn of Monday, saying “Rest assured that we are educating our people and placing their welfare of utmost priority.”
“We have sat down with the server involved and the rest of our team to console and brief them following the altercation,” it added.
The management also expressed concern and apologized to their guests for the incident that occurred inside their establishment, as it ensured that discrimination has no place in their restaurant.
However, in a follow-up Facebook post, the management said it stands by their employee involved in the incident.
“He, along with his teammates, have our support,” reads a portion of their second statement.
It also reiterated that the establishment aims to provide a safe and respectful environment for both guests and their employees.
“We are taking steps to better handle these situations moving forward,” it added. (CDF)