When I was a young lawyer, I taught law to the undergraduate students in three universities in Cebu. To encourage my students to study, I would give them assignments for discussion at the next meeting, to be led by two or three “reporters,” all of whom are chosen at random and on site.
One of my students was someone I played basketball with at the old Kuomintang gym in Colon on Sundays. He was the happy-go-lucky type, popular in class, especially with the girls. For some reason, he always escaped attention every time I chose the discussion leaders.
His run ended one Thursday afternoon just before the end of the semester. I called his name and told him to report first. I saw the shock on his face but he dutifully moved to the front and begged that he be allowed to report at the next meeting because he was not prepared. I said no, more sternly than usual.
Turning to his classmates, he stammered: “I am not prepared but because our instructor is forcing me, I will report in a suicide manner.” Then followed the greatest b.s. I heard about the law. He was bluffing and worse, was grandstanding. Like a lawyer, the nerve!
One Sunday after basketball at the Kuomintang, he approached me. “You gave me a suicide grade,” he said without bitterness. I smiled. He has learned his lesson.
That was almost half a century ago but the memory came rushing like a flood after I read about what the comedian Willie Revillame said when he was asked by television host Gretchen Ho what his platform was in running for the Senate: he had none, he’s not even thinking about it.
For better appreciation, let me use his exact words (thank you, Philippine Star):
“Wala pa, kasi hindi pa ako nanalo. ‘Pag nanalo ako doon ko na iisipin ‘yan. Ang iniisip ko ay kung paano pa lang ako mananalo. ‘Wag mo muna akong tanungin ng ganu’n.”
The Bisaya translation:
“Wa pa, kay wa pa man ko makadaug. Kung nakadaug na ko, anha na nako na hunahunaon. Ang akong gihunahuna ‘ron mao ang pagdaug. Ayaw sa ko ninyo pangutan-a anang (plataporma).
“Wa mo kasabot, mga amaw man diay mo!”
Okay, the last line was mine, not Willie’s.
Like my student with his homework half a century ago, Revillame is clearly not prepared to be a senator and is seeking a seat in what was once an august chamber in a “suicide” manner. Let’s give him a suicide reply.