Since my cancer diagnosis, I was forced to stay home and leave my work temporarily from the start of my operation, radiation treatment and during the recovery period.
During my rest days, I have discovered a lot of things I took for granted while I was busy doing life. I forgot about a lot of the things I used to enjoy because I was so preoccupied with work and providing for the family.
While decluttering, I saw that many of the plants I took care of withered and some even died without me noticing them. I found my books which were priceless to me before, kept in cabinets that gathered dust. I also discovered that it was so long ago when I last wore my running shoes.
What has become of me?
All the while, I thought I was creating the best version of myself because I had been productive at work and in so many affairs I was involved in.
But everything changed since my diagnosis.
I long for early morning sunshine. I love to be outdoors and notice the dew on leaves as it drops. I want to run again and feel every drop of sweat. I turn the pages of my books and enjoy every minute of it. I wake up very early to catch the cold breeze outside our door while listening to good music.
I do not have to rush. I take every minute to make time for myself.
It may seem ironic that, although I am doing nothing but recovering from a major operation, I feel more accomplished than ever before.
I have been thinking about so many challenges—how we will survive financially, whether I will fully recover, and many other uncertainties, yet despite everything, I feel more grateful now than ever.
The things which I thought had more value before become meaningless now.
I used to spend my resting hours mindlessly scrolling through social media while waiting to fall asleep. Now, I would rather share a meaningful conversation with someone than lose myself in an endless stream of reels.
Recently, some of my past students have visited me. We talked about our past classroom activities and shared how these have helped shape our lives now. The simple joys in our gatherings, the victories we shared during competitions, the class discussions and projects and even the failures that taught us lessons even until now, were so refreshing to recall and talk about.
I have come to realize that indeed, genuine human connection brings a kind of comfort that social media never can.
Cancer took me away from the work I thought defined me, but it brought me back to the life I had stopped noticing.
I would never call this illness a gift, but amid the pain and uncertainty, it reminded me that life does not always warn us before everything changes.
I hope that we will not wait for an illness to appreciate life’s simplest joys.
I hope that we will not wait for the right time to do what matters most because there will never be time unless we make time.
I still do not know what tomorrow holds. There are bills to pay, a body that still needs healing, and fears that return when everything becomes quiet. But I do know that today will make a difference.
Perhaps, what we all need is to become fully present. After all, our greatest accomplishment is not how much we finish, earn or achieve, but how deeply we love, how sincerely we connect and how fully we live the time we are given.
