MS. CONGENIALITY: I don’t really know who else to ask. I have been involved in pageants for some time. From the outside, people probably see the gowns, makeup, photographs and confidence on stage. But behind all that is a different reality that very few people know about.
I got into the flesh trade because I needed money. My family is struggling and I have younger siblings, including myself, who need to stay in school. At first, I told myself it was temporary. But the money helps my family and sometimes I feel like I don’t have the right to complain because my siblings and I are able to continue our education because of what I do.
I am tired. What do you think of someone like me? Should I stop, even if it means they might have to stop studying too?
DJ: You are trying to keep your family together. When circumstances become desperate, we sometimes make choices we never imagined we would make. You were trying to survive and you were trying to give yourself and your siblings an opportunity to stay in school. But I also don’t want to romanticize what you are going through.
If the flesh trade is hurting you, you deserve a way out. Your siblings’ education should not have to depend entirely on your having to sacrifice yourself. Just because your family has benefited from your income does not mean you have no choice but to continue.
I suggest that you have a trusted relative, friend, social worker, or women’s support organization by your side —someone you can confide in, who can help you explore safer options and support you as you work toward a different source of income. You do not have to figure everything out alone. Having someone you trust beside you can make the first step toward change a little less overwhelming.
The Department of Social Welfare and Development provides cash-for-work opportunities to qualified college students who serve as tutors or youth development workers. You can also explore a Cebu Provincial Government program that opened 5,900 scholarship slots in 2026, providing P10,000 in financial assistance per semester to qualified college students. Universities also have working scholarships available for students. I would encourage you and your siblings to explore these options before you conclude that the only way to keep them in school is through what you are doing now.
Your pageantry experience may also have value beyond what you currently see. You have skills, confidence and connections that could lead to legitimate opportunities. You can explore work as an event host, pageant coach, runway or personality-development trainer, social media or content creator, beauty or fashion consultant, sales representative, events coordinator or customer-relations professional.
You could also equip yourself with skills in makeup, styling, photography or event-related services that can become additional sources of income. And if you are comfortable speaking English, explore opportunities as an online English teacher. These may not replace your current income overnight, but they could be a starting point toward a safer and more sustainable livelihood.
What do I think of someone like you? I think you are someone who is trying to survive, trying to protect her family and now brave enough to ask for another way. And that is where your next chapter begins.
You are not the sum of the choices you made when you were desperate. A difficult chapter may explain where you have been, but it does not have to determine where you are going. You don’t have to remain trapped in choices you made simply to survive.
You have already proven how much you can endure. Now discover how much you can become when you begin choosing yourself, too.