@PETER: I have been in love with my teacher since my second year of college. Of course, I didn’t act on these feelings but allowed them to inspire me to excel in school. She’s incredibly intelligent and well-admired by our batch. She commands attention wherever she goes. She has this confident demeanor and an easy smile that lights up her face. She’s popular in our batch and it stems not from her looks or achievements, but from her genuine qualities. A good listener, brilliant in arts and history and stands up for what she believes is right. I follow her socials. And now that I’ve graduated with Latin honors, I’m contemplating finally expressing my feelings. Do I have a chance?
DJ: So, you’re a teacher’s Pete! Seriously, your email totally took me back to the thrill of first love. Those butterflies and heart-racing feels! And since it’s a bit taboo, I can imagine the stolen glances and that intense vibe. Plus, the self-control you’re practicing. All these are shaping how you view relationships. Job well done my new friend. So far, so good!
Before you make any move, I suggest taking a moment to reflect on your feelings. Even though you’ve graduated and aren’t her student anymore which kind of levels the playing field, there are new dynamics to consider. You’re building your career and finding your footing in the real world so to speak.
How does a possible relationship with her fit into your game plan? Think about your long-term goals. How do they fit with your current vibe? For example, are you planning to bounce out of the city or the country soon? Figuring out how a relationship meshes with these plans is key. Take some time to really dig into your feelings. Are they about admiration, gratitude, or something deeper? Reflecting on these can help you sort through your emotions more clearly.
You didn’t mention the age gap. Not that it’s a deal breaker but it’s a factor to think about. Sure, things have shifted. But the power dynamics may still be at play. It’s important to keep in mind not just your own feelings but also how society might perceive the relationship if it were to develop. As I’ve pointed out in a column months ago, couples with big age gaps often face challenges, not necessarily from within the relationship but largely from people around them. How ready are you to handle this, especially since you’re the guy in the relationship?
Should you decide to confess your feelings, timing is key. Start by reconnecting instead of jumping straight into a date. Casually drop by the school. Keep the initial meeting light and friendly. If you can, meet with other batchmates to keep things comfortable. Focus on catching up. Ask about her life, share your updates, and show genuine interest. Avoid heavy or overly personal topics at first. If the conversation goes well, suggest meeting up again to continue catching up. Go out as a group until you can sense it’s time to level up. This approach keeps things relaxed, allowing you to take things gradually and decide what to do next from there.
Be prepared for any response. You’re a smart kid and she may view you with much admiration. As a former student, she may have no romantic feelings at all. Her past experiences, personal history and views on age differences can influence her reaction. If she indicates that she doesn’t feel the same way, respect her decision to seenzone you. Now if she’s receptive, I suggest that you allow the relationship to evolve without rushing into anything.
When it comes to love, two things stand out to me. First, it’s about embracing the unknown with an open heart. Second, every great love story starts with a brave step forward. All the best, dude!