Moises: How to get past sadness

Moises: How to get past sadness

@HURRY_ROOKIE: Your social media presence exudes constant cheerfulness. Do you ever experience moments of sadness? When feelings of loneliness or hopelessness creep in, how do you cope? I’m just an ordinary person navigating life’s challenges like everyone else. There’s no dramatic tale of adversity to share, nor any extraordinary achievements to boast about. In my mid-20s, I find myself simply going with the flow. Yet, beneath this facade of calm, lies a current of anxiety about the future. I have a lot of dreams but I do not know where and how to start. And this is causing me to lose sleep.

DJ: So what if you haven’t racked up a list of achievements? Do not be ashamed of who you are. Never. That’s your parents’ job. On a serious note, acknowledging sadness and accepting are signs of a stable sense of wellbeing. Like everyone else, there are moments when I feel like being wrapped up in a heavy blanket, muffling the joy of everyday life. Part of adulting. Ever felt like forcing yourself to bed when you’re not sleepy and wake up when you’re not ready? Sadness often creeps in when reality falls short of our expectations. Like when you’re diligently looking both ways before crossing the street, then suddenly a plane hits you! And there’s no escape. Highs and lows are part of the journey. We’re all works in progress, constantly evolving. The whole ordeal taught me resilience — the ability to take life’s punches and bounce back, no matter how tough things get. Part of that is having some tricks up your sleeve. Allow me to share three of them today.

Pinpoint what’s got you feeling blue. Acknowledge your sadness and reflect on what triggered it. Maybe it’s the loss of a loved one or getting passed over for that promotion you had your eye on. Once you’ve identified the source, ask yourself if anything can be done about it. If yes, take a deep breath and tackle one issue at a time. If it’s out of your control, don’t hesitate to reach out to someone you trust for advice or simply to vent. Sometimes, acceptance is the key. Now if it’s coming out of nowhere, with no rhyme or reason, give it time. Instead of beating yourself up for feeling down, view it as an opportunity for growth. Good times and bad times, despite being at opposite ends of the spectrum, have something in common – we learn.

Ever thought of getting a pet? My furry friends helped me through those dark months when I was walking around pretending like everything was fine but down on my shoe, my sock was falling off. Pets are good non-judgmental listeners. They’re intuitive, too. They can sense stress, fear, sadness as well as happiness and joy. During ECQ when I was working from home, my friend, Kuttun, would repeatedly paw at me to remind me to take a break. A growing chorus of research links pet ownership to better mental health. Pet owners are less likely to suffer from depression than those without pets. Beyond companionship, playing with pets can elevate levels of serotonin and dopamine which calm and relax when stressed or anxious.

Consider volunteering in your community. It can be hope creating. When I hit rock bottom in both my personal and professional life, I looked for an older adult, an “adulter” adult who was better at being an adult than me. So, I turned to the Rotary Club of Cebu. Through Rotary, I gained valuable perspective and discovered that even at my lowest, I had something to offer. Giving back not only adds value to others. It can also improve our own mental well-being. Research shows that helping others boosts self-esteem and triggers brain changes associated with happiness. Plus, focusing on others can shift our perspective away from our own pain, offering a fresh outlook on life.

Experiencing a range of emotions is an integral part of being human. And that includes sadness. Not everyone responds in the same way. Some people may want to isolate themselves, while others prefer to surround themselves with as many people as possible to feel better. No matter the approach, it’s crucial to recognize what works for you, then work from there!

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